The Shadows of Memory Lane (Book 2) [Gxg]

Chapter 15

Kira woke up to Jordan panting beside her. She'd recently started sleeping in the same bed as him again. His trust was improving. His panic attacks were reducing. But she slept on the edge. With one eye open. She tried to calm him down, she placed her hand on his fingers gingerly. But he flinched away.

"Haley..." he sobbed. This made Kira's heart heavy. Haley. The name that used to instil hope in their hearts now instilled pain. And it would do so forever. She fought against his restraining arms and pulled him close for a tight embrace.

"Good morning sweetheart, it's me Kira, I'm right next to you. And I will be right next to you for the rest of our life. I will help you get through thick and thin. Sickness and health. I'll help you through all this, we've passed so many obstacles before Jordan, we can pass this one too. Together. You don't have to fight against it alone. I'm there for you, to help you with your burdens. I love you Jordan. I love you with all my heart."

Jordan gave in to the hug and he cried. Cried and cried and cried. That's all he seemed to be doing. He felt so unhappy. Pathetic. But he would fight this wave that was trying to drown him. 

And all Kira could hope was that her past didn't pull her away from him again. That her secrets didn't destroy their relationship.

...

Nick woke up that morning hoping to feel heat next to him. To feel a body next to him. To feel Inanna's arms around him. But no. He was alone. All over again. So then it was a dream. He'd hallucinated the whole time. 

"Inanna," he sobbed, "Haley," his crying became harder. He had no one to care for him. He was all alone. With no one. He gripped the sheets of his bed tightly and stared at the white ceiling. He wanted to find his old self. The one that fell in love with Inanna. The one that Inanna fell for. Maybe he could find love again. He still had hope. However tiny. He still had a chance. He wasn't done with this life yet. 

He got up from his bed with a new goal that day. He wasn't set out to ask his daughter to forgive him. She was gone. He was going to live his life. What was left of it anyways. He was going to travel the world. Never make close friends. Just temporary acquaintances who would serve as connections when he needed them. He started making his calls. He didn't know when he'd be back . He didn't care. 

...

"Hey baby," Jime said, walking into her dorm. 

Linda smiled. Amia, the one who had opened the door fake gagged.

Jimena looked at Amia incredulously, "Dude what's your problem? You a homophobe?"

"Apparently not," Linda said, walking up to Jime, and slinging her arm around her and placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Urgh no. I'm not against gays. I'm just uncomfortable when it comes to relationships and lovey dovey stuff... kay?" She'd started of boldly but memories of her past made her voice quiet towards the end. She tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. 

Suddenly she was enveloped in a hug. Usually she'd flinch away... but this one felt good. Comforting. She nuzzled into the fabric of the person's t-shirt, closing her eyes, not wanting them to let go. But sadly they did. And she was immediately met by tranquil purply grey orbs that had suddenly lost all their barriers. They were staring at her with peace yet intensity, memories, experiences, sadness...

"You're scared of love?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah, but my parents have always been obsessed with. My name literally means beloved," she said, flailing her arms around. 

"Hals, Amara..."

Linda was met with a confused look once again. 

"My name's Amia..."

"Yes of course, I'm sorry, she said pulling back, blushing furiously."

'Who's Haley?' was the only thought that ran in both Amia's and Jimena's mind.

Jimena was bound by the restriction of her promise but Amia had no such limitations. 

"Who's Haley?" She asked bluntly. Jimena sighed as she uttered the question, it had been running in her mind for so long, and jealousy had been running through her veins.

Linda had a glazed look in her eyes, the one that she had whenever she spoke of Haley, "Haley is... sorry was... my best friend, my other half, my girlfriend, my Amara. My beloved. She was the one for me. I had been convinced. We had known each other since we were both nine. And then..." Linda's eyes became a different type of glazed. Glazed with tears. "She killed herself."

A tremor passed through her and she was on the floor in seconds, crying her eyes out. Bawling. Wailing. For her love to come back. 

Suddenly she felt a flush of warmth. Her lips had been met by Jime's. She kissed her softly. Hoping that she could absorb some of her pain. Jime pulled back, only to kiss her tears away instead. 

"Li, baby..."

Li.

"I can't promise to be as amazing as Haley. I can't give you everything in the world but I'm willing to give what I have..." she looked down, "For as long as I live, I will love you Linda Rivers. I might not know everything about you. I may not be perfect for you. But I'm willing to be that Jigsaw piece that fits awkwardly in another one, but it fits nonetheless."

Linda looked into Jime's eyes, but Jime looked away. Thinking naïvely that it was embarrassment, Linda turned Jimena's face and kissed her softly.

"I love you too." Maybe she could hold on to this love. Maybe she won't go away. Maybe maybe maybe...

Amia walked away, letting both of them have their private moment. The only thing Linda saw when she laid eyes on her was Haley... why? Did they look alike? Why had Haley suicided? Questions ran through her head. Curiosity coursing along with her bloodstream. She felt the overwhelming need to know exactly who this Haley had been. She felt like they were connected in some way. Amia walked towards the painting she'd completed earlier that day. 

Inanna.

The name sent shivers through her body. She could feel the restraints. Her powerlessness. It all came tumbling down again. But she'd cried herself dry. So she did what she'd been doing for the past four years. She grabbed a water bottle, changed her clothes, fetched her towel and headed off to the gym. She'd never be weak again. She flexed her bulging muscles that seemed to be out of place on her delicate body frame. She stared at the mirror in the gym, looking at herself in her sports bra and gym shorts. Sweat streaming down her face. She was determined. She hadn't been able to fight him off that day... but now... she was stronger... well physically. 

Emotionally and mentally, he'd bruised her permanently. 

Memory #15: Whenever a guy tried to make a move on Haley...physically, she'd beat him up. She'd never been a damsel in distress. She'd always been a queen.  Haley had taught Linda all the fighting skills she knew. Mainly for self-protection, but also so that they had another excuse to spend more time together.