The Shadows of Memory Lane (Book 2) [Gxg]

Chapter 8

Third Person POV

Kira watched as the sun set in the horizon. She'd come to the beach, as most people in L.A. do, to clear her head. Jordan was getting better, but it was still hard. How had Haley managed him for these many years? She felt guilty for leaving. But she'd had other... responsibilities.

The light played on the surface of the water. Dancing with each ripple. The sky had a streak of pink outlined by oranges and yellows.

She ran her hands through her hair. It was now light brown... its original color. She'd dyed it to ombre black to brown while she was hidden. She never touched her contacts anymore. She tried to do everything she used to do, while she was still with Jordan. She tried to settle back into her norms. The doctor had said that similarities and familiarities might help Jordan recognise her... believe her. Haley's death had shattered Jordan. It had torn everyone. Haley was everyone's pillar of support. And she hadn't been able to handle the weight when everyone had leaned on her at once.

Kira had cried that day. So much. Tears had gushed out of her in rivers. She'd felt what Haley had felt when she'd 'died'. As the casket had closed, she'd slipped a piece of paper into the coffin. It had now become a tradition almost. It was a letter. It had all her confessions. Her mistakes. And in the end she'd attached a little poem. Dedicated to her daughter. Her pillar.

Kira clasped her hands together. She was lost in her thoughts. Her past. Her memories. But then something caught her eyes. A flash of black with brown. Two girls. Laughing, on the road. They both looked familiar. Kira got up, curiosity taking over, and walked closer to them. Close enough to recognise them but far enough to be hidden from their view.

She peered at them from behind a car. And when she saw who they were, she inhaled sharply. It took her all her will power to stifle the loud gasp that was bound to follow. She'd been running from her past for so long. Her mistakes. Her horrible mistakes.

Linda's face looked tired. Fatigued from dealing with her scars. But as she laughed with the girl in front of her, she seemed to loosen up a bit. It wasn't like how she was with Haley... how she had been. She wasn't completely indulged in a bubble of comfort where there was nothing unsaid suspending in the thick air of tension. She wasn't free. She was still held back. Caged by sorrow, but this girl... the girl in front of her seemed to be her cell mate. Sharing the burdens of captivity with her. And they had a sort of sarcastic relationship. One where they knew that infinity doesn't exist. That forever lasts only for a few years at most. But they both seemed care free during the moments they spent together for they wanted to forget. Forget everything but the present. No grief of the past, no worries for the future. A sort of confined liberty.

Then Kira's eyes landed on the other girl. The girl who had helped Linda with this temporary catharsis. That's when Kira knew her past was out to get her again.

Kira followed them as they walked back to Linda's dorm, hand in hand. Kira couldn't help but feel a pang of an unrecognisable emotion in her heart. It felt wrong to see Linda with someone else other than Haley. They were just so right together. Death always tears Love while Love leads so many to Death. But Kira knew that she couldn't do anything about it now. Anything but regret almost every decision she'd ever made.

She didn't make a sound as Linda walked into her room, pulling the other girl behind her. Jimena. Kira knew her name. She obviously knew it. How could she not? She waited for some time to avoid suspicion and then walked in... forgetting to knock. Forgetting etiquettes so that she could push her past away again.

But she hadn't expected what had come next. She couldn't blame Linda. Not when what she said was true. Not when Kira was guilty of all the things Linda blamed her for. But she hadn't realised that Linda would still be this broken. Haley had always been the reason Linda's temper never took over... and now her lid was gone. And she was overflowing with anger. Rage. Pure hatred... love had been exhausted.

Kira walked out of the campus, letting herself cry. Everything was going to go down. Again. She was going to have to fall and beg on her knees all over again. The progress she'd made was going to be futile. Futile because her mistakes... unsolved and buried ones had resurfaced. And this time, she knew she was going to have to face them. Because this time her mistakes weren't going to disappear. They were here to stay. They were going to be a constant until she eradicated them by succumbing to the trouble that followed them.

Her past was now her present.

She felt her fingers start shaking. And slowly the tremble passed throughout her body. Kira was never one to fret over change. But this one. This one was way to big. She could feel the unshed tears threatening her. Holding daggers behind her eyes, making her feel that stinging sensation. The one you feel before you start crying. She tried to inhale and exhale. But she wasn't able to. She wasn't able to function. Her body was paralysed in limbo. She knew that this were going to break her. She looked into his brown eyes. They were pleading her for mercy. Even though they weren't at fault. They were telling her that he was as helpless as she was. That he was as hopeless as she was. That life was leading him somewhere else. Away from her. His hair was tousled. A clear sign that he wasn't his normal self. For usually Jordan's hair would be perfect and sleek on the top his head. His smirk had disappeared. His fun attitude had given in and a serious demeanour had taken its place. The man she had fell in love with. Jordan Moores. Was now so lost. They'd had a perfect life so far. They had been high school sweethearts. They'd applied for college together. They'd studied together for three years. And now in their last year... before they'd be united. Forever. No more fears of being separated due to education. They were being torn apart. Jordan had gotten a basketball scholarship in a university in Washington D.C. His mother was pressuring him to accept it. Apparently it would give him a great start to life. Prepare him for the real world. Kira and Jordan, before meeting each other, had never been good at commitment or trust. A whole year apart was going to create rifts for sure. And it might stretch for more than a year. He might get a job there. Or he might pursue further studies somewhere else. No. This had to end. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

Kira held Jordan's shivering hands with her own. She pulled him up from his kneeling position. She looked into his eyes and pulled him in for a kiss. It was long and bittersweet. It held love but it spoke of letting go. It wasn't everlasting. And the burn in their stomachs after they pulled back wasn't from passion.

"I think it's best if we break up. Bye Jordan."

Kira walked away, not turning back. For if she had, she would have ran into his arms. And she would have cried. And she couldn't let her walls down in front of him anymore. He didn't try to call after her. She'd made her decision. He wiped off the single tear that had betrayed him and escaped. And he walked into a new life... as Kira walked back into her old one...

Memory #8: Haley would sit next to Linda whenever her parents started fighting. She'd pull her close and block out the noise they were making with her beautiful voice. She'd hold the scared twins together. And would pull them all into a tight embrace. She'd make everything seem fine, when in reality everything would be tearing apart. She'd make the most entrancing illusions.