In Your Dreams (BxB) ✓

five

My alarm blares at 5 am. I groan aloud and slam my hand onto the screen of my phone, snoozing it. I grab the phone and hear Christian still on the other end of the line.

"Christian?" I ask. I hear a shuffle of his body.

"Hmm, Jay?" he questions sleepily.

"Hey, I think you should wake up and get ready. What if I came and picked you up this morning? Just in case your dad hid your keys or anything."

"Okay, thanks so much. I don't know what I'd do without you in this situation."

"Well, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be in the situation."

"Don't blame yourself. I am dealing with this as a part of who I truly am. Maybe it's progressing in a more hostile way, but it was inevitable."

"I'm so sorry..."

"Sorry... that I'm gay? I'm not sorry about that, never will be."

"No, no! No one should be sorry about their sexuality. I meant about your dad. I'm sorry he doesn't seem to think the same way."

"Yeah, he sure is sorry his son is a faggot." That word still stings me, but I know he doesn't mean that as a slur towards himself. This shouldn't be such a hard battle, yet it is.

"You aren't a faggot, Christian. You're... you. No labels, alright?"

"You're right, Jay. I'll see you in a few, bye."

"Bye," I hang up the phone and head to the bathroom. I wash my face, making sure to wet my dry, tired eyes. I look up to the mirror and see that I look exactly how I feel. I stare myself down for a moment, then remember the danger I'm putting Christian in with his relationship with his dad, all because he can't accept his own son. It's enough for me to punch the mirror, knocking my reflection out cold.

I change clothes, wearing black jeans, a black beanie, and a bright red hoodie. I find my wallet and rush out of the door. If we are going to be up this early, we might as well get coffee and settle down before school, which doesn't start until 9.

Driving to his house, I can't help but replay everything that's happened in the few days I've known Christian. I seem to have forgotten about him LITERALLY being in my dream. I want to have more dreams with him in them, but no matter how much I think about him before I fall asleep, I just have dreams about falling off escalators or some shit. I want dreams that make me wake up squirming and frustrated because I was so close to him. Maybe I want that to be more than a dream. No, there's no doubting I want to be with him.

I finally pull into the recently familiar driveway and park the car further away from the home. I don't want to wake up Christian's dad. I grab my phone and text Christian.

Me: what do I need to do?

Christian: you here?

Me: yeah what room are you in? you need to sneak from the window?

Christian: yes my dad is asleep in the hall. I can here his breathing

Me: shit that's scary. okay tell me what side of the house to got to from the front

Christian: if you are at the front door, go to the right side of the house near the middle. you'll see me in the window

Me: ok I'm coming soon to a theater near you

Christian: stupid ok

I smile at his reply and silently thank the heavens for keeping him sane in this shitty situation. Shituation. Ha.