When I Escaped

Chapter 5

Pagkatapos ng klase umuwi agad ako sa bahay, pagpasok ko palang, bumangad sakin ang nakangiting mukha ni mom.

"Anak magbihis ka na at kumain tayo, pinauwi ako ng boss ko ng umaga dahil may lakad sila kaya pinaghanda kita ng paborito mo." she said happily. Ang puso ko ay parang mahuhulog sa tuwa, hindi ko inaasahan to.

Dali dali akong nagbihis dahil excited talaga ako. Sa wakas makapag dinner na rin ako kasama si mama, I have been waiting this for a long time, just me and my mom. I immediately went to our dining room pero bago umabot sa lamesa narinig ko si mama na may kausap sa labas.

"I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you right now, my daughter is here."
Tahimik na sabi ni mama na parang may tinatago siya.

"But please Alice, there's something you need to know." bulong ng lalaki sa labas.

Hindi naman siya gaano katanda, maybe he was the same age as my mom, nakikita ko ang mga wrinkles sa mukha niya na parang naawa siya sa mama ko.

My mom just shut the door, pero ang lalaki hindi pa rin natitigil sa pagsasalita.

"Alice, dapat tong malaman ng anak mo please." hindi pa rin tumitigil sa labas ang lalaki.

"Robert, maybe some other time, I don't want to mess this time with my daughter." my mom said in a tired voice. "Don't ever talk to her about this please."

Sumikip and dibdib ko ng marinig ko ito. Nagagalit ako at nalulungkot. Parang sasabog na yung lalamunan ko dahil pinipigilan ko ang mga luha ko. My emotions are so fucked up. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko at hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pa siyang harapin. My mom just lied to me. Why can't she just tell me? Hindi ko naman siya pipigilan kapag nagmahal siya ng iba pero dapat ba talaga magsinungaling? Siya nalang nga ang pinagkakatiwalaan ko but she just messed up everything.

I faced her, we ate but I never said a single word. Everytime I looked at her weary eyes I felt sadness. I can't be angry at mom but she broke me, thousand times. I forgave her and I was willing to start over but I'm tired so damn tired.

"Kamusta sa school anak?" nginitian niya ako.

Tumango lang ako.

"Do you like the food? I put some extra cheese. Alam ko kasi paborito mo ang lasagna na maraming cheese diba anak?"

Tumango lang ako, marami pa siyang sinasabi ngunit hindi ako sumasagot.

"What's wrong anak?"

I stopped eating at nakahanap ako ng guts para magsalita.
"Do you trust me, mom?" I eyed her.

Her eyes widened parang shocked sa tanong ko. "Of course anak, I trust you."

Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko sa kanya dahil nagsinungaling na naman siya.

I breathe heavily. "You know what, I give up mom."

I stood. 

"Julie, did I said something wrong?" kumunot ang noo niya.

"Wala naman ma, everything is perfect just I thought it would be." I said sarcastically.

Lumabas akong umiiyak, I got my bike then went away, as far as I could. I have nowhere to go. Hindi ko masyadong nakikita ang mga sasakyan dahil walang tigil na umaagos ang luha ko. Next thing I knew nasa sementeryo ako umuupo katabi ni dad. The scenery was nice, I can see the whole city in here. At the end of the cemetery was a cliff, a beautiful cliff, so breathtaking. I can feel the cold breeze and what I love about this place, it's so quiet and peaceful.

"Alam mo dad, namimiss na kita ng sobra sobra." I smiled while I fought back a sob."Bakit hindi mo ako sinama dad? My life is just a mess here at sa tingin ko pagod na pagod na si mama sa 'kin" I started crying and crying.
"Everything changed since you left us dad, It seems like I do not know my own mom anymore, I do not know myself. This is so unfair, life is so unfair."

Most of the time, I visit my dad here when mom is not home. I talk to him whenever I have problems and I know he is always there.

Nababaliw na ako. My head is throbbing so hard.

Hindi ko pa gusto umuwi so, pumunta ako sa pinakatuktok ng cliff. I looked up, ang buwan at bituin ay nagniningning and as I look down, I wonder what's down there, maganda kaya? I wonder what it feels like to be falling. Maybe this is the way to escape. Lumapit pa ako sa tuktok and closed my eyes. I breathe, this is it.

A place to relax.

I was about to sit down pero may humawak sa braso ko. Hindi ko masyadong makita ang mukha niya dahil madilim. Pero nakakatakot as fuck baka zombie. I don't want to die being eaten by a zombie, my brain is too precious.

"Bitiwan mo ako." pasigaw ko

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING, JULIE?!" nakikita ko ang galit sa mga mata niya at parang kilala ko ang boses.

Thank God, its not a zombie.