Jay Park One Shots

Freedom

(Jay's POV)

"I'm not exactly sure how to put this, but I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore. I know you're being caught by surprise, but I realized that my biggest wish is to be totally free, from everything and everyone. Free from the commitments even though being with you was my choice. I want to be able to do whatever I want without having to think about the second person in my life."

I stared at you cautiously. Honestly, I was afraid of how you would react. Although I made the choice to break up with you, I never really meant to hurt you. Hell, I don't think I can even stand the thought or sight of you being sad.

"I understand," you said. The break in your voice shook my heart. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do but I had to be selfish. I rarely have time for myself anymore and I knew the solution to my problem was to drop one of my commitments and I decided on you in a beat. I know my explanations or reasons will never be enough but I hope you understand even though you will never be able to hear my innermost thoughts.

"I wish you the best Jay. Please don't think I'm not willing to fight for us but your reason was enough for me to know that there is no way you're going to second guess your decision. For whatever you're planning to fulfill in the future for yourself, I wish you the best. I'll take my leave now. Thank you for everything."

A pang of regret washed over me as I watch you walk out the door. The last thing I saw of you was the saddest smile I've ever seen on you. I knew how badly you tried to suppress your tears. You were speaking while choking on your own tears and I'm guilty as charged. But I was determined on standing alone for a very long time. It's time I put myself back on the right track. No distractions, no extra commitments. I hope in the near future, we will be able to cast our differences and sadness aside and be friends if we ever cross paths.

I know you will never be able to hear or know this part of my cerebration but you were nothing but a perfect girlfriend. You never misunderstood my flaws, in fact you accepted and embraced them wholeheartedly. You shove your ego aside to make peace with me whenever we quarrelled. Thankful is an understatement for what I feel towards you. You were my pillar of strength, my lover, my supporter. The best among everyone else in fact. I'm sorry I had to let you go for my own selfish purposes but until I can figure my own life out, I will have to hurt you this much.

If fate allows, maybe we will get back together in the future. I would be lying if I were to say I don't love you anymore. My whole life revolved around loving you but that was the biggest flaw I had, loving you to the point I lost control of my other existing emotions. It's not your fault, it never was and never will be. A part of me hopes you will wait for me but another part of me hopes you'll move on and meet a better a guy. One who will not leave you for his own selfish reasons. Who will treasure you as you are. Who will varnish you with all the love and care because you are a diamond, a very valuable one.

However we might end up as in the future, I truly hope you understand and not put me at a losing end. I hope you'll accept me as I am, for leaving you and for hurting you. I'm truly sorry, my love. You will always have the best spot in my heart, which I will forever leave vacant for you and only you.

Till next time, my love. Here goes my freedom.