Soonhoon | | Hozi : Letting go

N i n e t y - o n e

Honestly speaking, the squad to be happy were all stuck in ceaseless Tom and Jerry situation. At last, a new beginning of Soonhoon--- I mean, they both agreed to play pretend; acting to be fine and hate one another but dying inside to missing each other. Jihoon was done taking a bath, hanging his wet towel and brushed off his hair, unlocking his phone and smirked when he saw a message from Suga.

"Let's go Jihoon, what took you so long?" He nodded at Seungkwan while wearing his thick grey coat before closing the door of his room.

When they were inside the restaurant, the attention went over to Jihoon, leaving him standing alone and the noisy atmosphere was fueled with an ear-piercing silence, only to find out, Soonyoung was staring at him almost burning a hole on Jihoon's head. He paused from scrolling at his phone and felt a strange presence behind him.

Bit by bit, his feet spun around and his blank expression spread out his entire face with a small distance with Soonyoung's pale face. In Jihoon's inner thoughts, he was down in the mouth looking straight at the pair of eyes filled with pierce message speaking without words being uttered. Unexpectedly, a hot salty fluid began to occupy the latter's lower eyelid and drops down his cheek. On the side, Soonyoung blinked quickly with an astonished face but Jihoon turn around to fake out laughing to release the tears that was falling in his eyes. He joined not to make the situation worst and headed on their seats. They felt uncomfortable when the two will be seating right beside each other.

While they were waiting for the food be serve, he tapped the play button and plugged in his headset, taking a deep breath and waited for a few seconds until he heard a raspy voice leaving him frozen and can't even blink his eyes.

"Jihoon, I'll wait until you wake up. I know you'll still open you eyes. Honestly, I don't even know if you want to see me again. But please, don't go. Please wake up, I still need to know what you're going to say."

"Tsk." Soonyoung heard him hissed and cast his eyes on him."He's more eager to know what I'm going to say than the day I open my eyes."

He stopped from speaking, realized that he was only near and saw him looking at him very serious. 

'Wow, my heart is about to burst out how long we look at each other! ' Jihoon screamed out in his mind.

"What are you looking at?" Soonyong coldly dodge his question and his gaze. After some minutes a sudden scene popped of in his head causing him to be stupefied. There are memories engraved in you heart even when the pain could remind the sweet moments you once value. Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it. And he made a choice; although no matter how much suffering he went through, he never wanted to let go of those memories he cherish yesterday and even today.

"J-Jihoon, y-you look so thin, you already have fair complexion and now you have a pale skin. W-why do you have to be in this place, why do I need to see you in this condition?"  Clenching his fist, he lift up his head and look at the ceiling to back flow the tears that came out to fall again. Soonyoung grabbed one of the earphones out of his ear and did an excuse to Jihoon which made the latter to jump off his skin.

"W-what I pray every night is t-to s-see you again, even if you can't remember me again. Maybe it is better for someone who made you put in this n-nightmare. J-Jihoon, I don't have the strong heart to say this to you once you are awake, b-but please." He choke up amidst of talking an unconscious Jihoon. "I-If you still have the memory of me, p-please just pretend you don't know me. Act as if we were nothing because once it might happen, I can possible try to push you away. I know I will never do it because I value you very much more than my life."

Once the first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. When Soonyoung saw him broke into tears, he stood up and dragged him outside which the other members became interested on what's happening. They were greeted with a cold breeze but then when they were all alone Jihoon pushed him away but gripped his wrist until he screamed out that he was feeling hurt.

Soonyoung lessen the force, letting go of Jihoon's hand. "Why did you drag me here? Why do you keep on hurting me? Why can't I forget you? Why do I have to meet you again? Why do you make things hard for me? What have I done to make me go insane? What do you need to make you stop from feeling this ache? Tell me!"

Jihoon exhaled out the air that was blocked in his throat. "Did you know how hard pretending to have a normal life, being a fool crying over and over again to a person like you? Is it better to rake your body with noisy sobs and let the world know of your pain, or to slowly let go of your emotion within yourself with silent tears? It floods my mind once I'm in my room, depressed and gloomy attempting to end up my life. What's the purpose of my life when you completely wrecked it?!"

Looking down at his hand again another drop appeared and he realized that the liquid was coming from my eyes. Soonyoung raise up his head, grief registered on his face, brows knitted with bitter tears welled in his eyes.

"Jihoon, if you really resent me why do you listen my apology, why do complicate things when things came back to be stable again? Why....why did I met you again, why did I fell again with you? Why do you make feel you're just a mistake, why?!"  When he laid into his eyes once again, his expression was intense, almost threatening.  For a moment, he thought maybe he was angry, but before he could ponder it further, he yanked Jihoon covering his mouth his warm lips with a hungry kiss. Jihoon responded immediately, surprising himself. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips was softer than he could have imagined. 

"Jihoon." Soonyoung gently gave him a peck. "I love you."

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I'm getting obsessed with Soonhoon. Is that normal? LIKE GOSSSH AAAAAACK I don't want to end my stories uhuhuhuhuhuh

Kpopisheartue