Soonhoon | | Hozi : Letting go

F i f t y - f o u r

We were left in the room, me and Dokyeom and what makes me doubtful is that all of them went into the same, where? They were looking the location of their friend Soonyoung, funny isn't it? Maybe they have a reason why the both of us was left behind, which is kinda mysterious and suspicious.

"Woo...I mean Lee Jihoon." I faced him, tilting my head where he was standing and gave him a blank expression. 

Do you expect him to smile? Did you ever saw him greet someone hospitably?

"You're still scary, you didn't change an inch, maybe your memories."

He nodded in agreement. "Oh, you are right."

Spinning around and avoiding an awkward situation, he staggered hesitantly with his face staring directly to the door widely open to get out of the place. Jihoon started quacking in his boots, heart skips a beat once he felt the floor was quacking with some of the things were shaking as if it's going to fall on the ground.

Seokmin managed to dash off  towards Jihoon like his feet was encased with cement in anxiety. When the movement bit by bit stopped, he wanted to escape and run outside but then, he tripped from Dokyeom's shoe that caused him to lost his balance and ended up collapsing on the floor, holding his arms tightly.

He groaned softly followed with a bang from the flower vase. Woozi's hand stretched out and accidentally pushed the vase and slipped down. 

"Are you------" Soonyoung came exactly and witnessed the scene on time.  His eyes shifted to the side again and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As he blinked, they dripped from his eyelids and slid down his cheeks. He bit his lip tightly in attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from his mouth; his heart sank. 

"I-I'm sorry." Woozi quickly get up and helped Seokmin to stand, telling his gratitude to his kindness. 

"I guess you're fine at all." He tried to hide away his grief face by looking for a broom and dustpan. He heaved a sigh when he need to passed beside Jihoon and Dokyeom because it was only at their back. Not making it obvious, Soonyoung's legs were trembling with his steps walking on his way. 

"Y-you may get out, I'll clean this mess first." They were both engrossed at him, DK can sense the jealously boiling up inside Hoshi but can't think for a excuse and not to make the scene very uncomfortable.

"Let's go Jihoon." Hoshi paused in cleaning after hearing his name. He turn deaf ears, simply sweeping the floor clacking with the fragments bumping side by side. Jihoon take a heavy step, eyes never leaving Soonyoung in melancholy. 

It feels weird, it pierce his heart watching Hoshi acting that way, he whispered. He completely stopped when he noticed that he was picking the pieces and what he predicted came true in reality. He cut himself, blood oozing down his fingertip but he just continue it. 

"Are you not going out?!?!?!?!?" Hoshi screamed out on top of his lungs in rage, fuming with their pitiful eyes looking at him. He carry the dustpan and angrily threw it off on the garbage bin. He clumped swiftly, bumping intentional Woozi which made him feel pain in his chest, surprised that he doesn't feel anger that was very expected.

"Jihoon." He can't hide no more, his face was showing his sadness the way his gaze follow Soonyoung.

"I think it was my fault."

"No, it was me. I'm too clumsy that's why I got tripped. I'm sorry." 

They became silent after but Woozi spoke up. "I need to talk to him."

"I think you should, I'll find the others and tell them not to get worried. Bye~" Woozi forced a smile and bid his goodbye.

It was very difficult for him to stride, looking how he is in pain tugged in his heartstrings. When he spotted a figure near the bench, he suddenly became excited but faded quickly. He began thinking he hates him for some reason, especially what he saw awhile back.

"Hoshi." His eyes widely open when he saw him on the grass behind the wooden bench. He hurriedly sit in front of him and once again call his name sincerely. 

"Soonyoung." A single tear rolled down his cheek and fell, lost among the millions of water droplets falling down the drain. With his eyes closed firmly, Jihoon brought his cold hand and preparing to put it in his wet cheeks. Abruptly, Hoshi held his wrist when he was about to wipe his tears, making Woozi astounded with him. 

"Don't." He choked up."It's okay. I'm, I'm being too childish with small things. Don't mind me, I'll be okay."  

"It's too rude to leave you here. I need to wiped it." 

As his thumb placed it in under his eyes. "I made you cry that's why I'm responsible for it, I'll not leave you."

"I'm not crying because of you." Jihoon knows it was him, he was denying it and understand why he need to conceal and not to feel it.

"Do you hate me?" That question came out his mouth without thinking anything.

"No, I hate myself, I hate myself being stuck with you even you only sympathize me and not care for me. It's not the same, you're still Jihoon but very different one." 

"W-what do you mean?" He stuttered in between his words.

"You lose your memories and so your heart, it doesn't beat for me anymore." Woozi was unable to speak, unable to breath, nothing.The world around, becomes a blur of color that melts to gray. The weight in his chest and locks in his throat. He bit his tongue, holding back the tears coming out with this sting building up his entire chest. 

"I'll go now."

"See?" When Woozi stood, he heard his croaked voice. "You told me you will not leave me, is that what you're good at, leaving me behind without knowing what I want? I just want you to stay but you can't, you never will."

*****************************************************************

Naega gidae~

Kpopisheartue