JIN LIKES TO PRETEND like he's completely and perfectly fine. He knows that it's a bad habit that he should at least try to get rid of, but he has mastered the act of lying. His voice was always high and teasing during interviews. Those watching would just love him and not know if he was happy or sad. Whether he was fine or not. Even his group members had believed his lie. When he fell down on the bed, the worries weighing down his body, all her wanted was her beside him. But he is reminded that his girlfriend is halfway across the world.
He is left with no other choice other than to take out his phone and click her name on his contacts. She is the first on his call history and he is filled with some sort of expectation.
Jin had always liked to sulk on his own. Maybe he didn't like it but that seemed to be the only thing that he knew. When he began to date her, she showed him that the most simplistic things in life were enough to create the most beautiful world that he could imagine. Just after two rings, she picks up and he sees her in his shirt, sitting on the kitchen island. She has her glasses on, so he deduces that she had been studying. The apartment that they shared seemed so far away now.
"Seokjin!" She exclaims with a grin curving her face as soon as she sees him. He smiles at her with tight lips. He couldn't sing his lines properly, he couldn't dance and he was always forgetting his cues. And above all, he couldn't see her for months. She notices immediately that her boyfriend was feeling down.
"You want to talk about it?" She asks quietly. He sighed and creeped back further under the covers.
"Do you have time?" He asks, not wanting to bother her. What had he done to deserve this life?
The curve of her lips widen. "I have all the time in the world for you." She's cheesy but he loves it.
"Do- do you think I'm good enough?" He finally asks. "I don't know. One moment, it's like I'm spending hours in the studio singing and creating and the next moment I feel so empty. Like- Like I can't do anything right and the fans deserve more than just who I am." He feels comfortable telling her all this.
He hears her sigh. "Jin, you're more than enough. You're amazing- I think that you're the best singer, performer, dancer, producer and whatnot out there. Don't you see how talented you are?"
"And I'm handsome." He jokes even through his hurt.
The laugh that he got in return numbs the pain. "Of course. Wow, even when you're about to go to sleep, you still look like a goddamn model."
His cheeks burn as he runs his hand through his hair. Even after all this time, how does she manage to make him feel like he's realizing for the first time that he loves her?
"Don't let anything or anybody bring you down, you absolute angel."
He nods his head before grinning to the camera. He brings his hands to his lips and blows a dramatic kiss to her. She pretends to drop her phone, making him laugh. But then he realized that the others were sleeping and he slaps a hand over his mouth.
"Wait until you get here, I'll hug your giant ass self to death."
He gives her a wink. "That's the best way to go."
