Flips and Tricks (Travis Pastrana) ON HOLD

Feeling off

Chapter 9

This morning I woke up and felt about the same as did for the past week. And that is feeling like utter shit. I have been moping around the house and just feeling shit. Today was a sad day for me as today was my dads birthday.

I haven't seen Nate much for the past couple of days since he's always with Jo and when they're here I try and avoid them. They were way to lovey dovey for my liking but I was happy for my brother.

I haven't seen Travis at all since the day we watched The Vampire Diaries together because he's busy getting everything ready for our trip that we take in two days. We spoke on the phone maybe twice and we text but it just wasn't the same. Plus I've avoided his texts for the past two days.

No one else was around much either since Parks was back in Florida and everyone else was at home spending some time off before they get all mashed up on this trip. I felt so alone and empty and most of all I missed my dad more than ever.

That's what sucked about down time. There was way too much time to think and thinking for me was just bad. Nate hasn't noticed that I've been kind of depressed and I'm not sure if its because he doesn't pay attention or if I just hide it really well. I'd like to think its the fact that I hide it very well.

I sat on the edge of my bed and stared at my bags that I had already packed since I had nothing better to do. I was contemplating on whether it was a good idea or not that I actually went. If I feel like I do now I would much rather just stay home by myself since I won't be any good company.

I sighed and blew it off, not in the mood for too much thinking right now. I got up and dragged myself into the bathroom to at least shower for the first time in two days. I've been locked up in my room and in bed for those two days just crying or eating junk food.

All I could think about was the fact that I wasn't there that day to stop my dad from whatever stupid stunt he was trying to do. I hated myself for leaving him alone that weekend and I really felt like it was all my fault that my dad was dead.

Nate knew I felt this way and we've had so many arguments and fights over it in the past. I would always go to him and lean on him in a time of need but he was so happy right now and he hasn't been this happy in a long time that I didn't want to screw things up for him.

I stood under the stream of water as silent tears mixed with the water from the shower. I'm not sure how long I just stood there under the stream of water until I finally decided to get out. I grabbed my big fluffy towel and wrapped it around my body as I made my way back into my room and to my dresser.

I grabbed a sports bra and some underwear and slipped them on then walking back into my closet. I grabbed a pear of short black sweats and a light blue tank top. I pulled my hair back into a pony tail and put on a pair of socks.

I grabbed my phone and saw I had a text from Travis.

'Hey Kels. Are you ok? Haven't heard from you in a few days. Nate says you're ok but I need to hear it from you. Miss you Kels. Love Travxxx - Trav:D'

I sighed and locked my phone and walked down the stairs and towards the kitchen to make myself so green tea.

"Nate?" I called out on my way down the stairs. His bedroom door was open which meant he wasn't in there and so was his office door. I stopped at the bottom of the steps "Nate?" again there was nothing. I sighed and walked into the kitchen to switch on the kettle.

I got out a mug and then walked over to the kettle again and grabbed the tin next to it. I grabbed out a bag of tea and placed it in my mug. I leaned on the counter and drummed my fingers as I waited for the kettle to finish boiling.