No One is Happy with This (Undertale)

5 ~ Slack Jawed

It's a really good thing, you decide, that you have so much determination.

Because it's been nearly four days since you talked to Papyrus, and the trail has gone cold. Everyone else you've talked to pretty much say the same thing- Sans and Papyrus pretty much just showed up one day.

If you weren't so determined, you would have dropped it by now. But you were determined. You just have to be observant, and you're sure that something will come up.

And you're right, something does.

You're in the park. Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, and Alphys are with you. You all go to get nicecream...

But Sans doesn't get anything. And, looking back on it, you don't think he's ever gotten nicecream with you.

You ask him if he doesn't like nicecream.

"nah, i like it just as much as the next guy. i just can't eat it."

You frown. "You can't eat nicecream? Are you allergic or something?" That's a kinda strange thought. Monsters don't generally have allergies, you've found, and besides, monster food is mostly Magic, and doesn't have much to be allergic to in it.

Sans chuckles a little. "no, no, let me rephrase. i can't eat it in front of you."

That makes less sense than an allergy. You tell Sans that.

He gives you a look. "have you ever seen me eat, frisk?"

You open your mouth to say you have, but then you realize you haven't. You've seen him drinking, yes, all manner of liquids from ketchup to soda to water, but never eating anything solid.

Sans just laughs again. "yeah, that's what i thought. now, consider, maybe there's a reason for that, kiddo?"

"Well, I can imagine that." Undyne snorts. "You're already a total slob, so you probably just eat really messily."

Sans snorts. "messily? nah. i actually don't know what it looks like. i guess i just don't have the guts to see for myself, after people started telling me it looked so horrifying."

Papyrus frowns. "It's not that horrifying."

"well that's because you've lived with me your entire life, and you never saw it any other way. you're just used to it. i'm pretty sure it's terrifying."

"S-Sans," Alphys interjects, "we're all your friends. We w-won't think any less of you because of the way you eat. Y-you don't have to be embarrassed."

Sans shakes his head. "i'm not embarrassed. i'm just trying to save you all from terror."

"I bet it's not that scary." Undyne says.

"undyne, i literally cannot open my mouth, yet i somehow still manage to get food into it. i think it's probably at least a little frightening."

Undyne gives Sans a sidelong look. "I'll be the judge of that."

"no you won't. you won't even see it."

"Well I don't believe you. I bet you're just sloppy."

The edges of Sans' grin lift a little. "why don't you quit mouthing off at me, undyne?"

"SANS!" Papyrus protests, while Undyne looks a little annoyed that Sans would interrupt a serious conversation with a pun.

"aw, c'mon! that was a good one. anywhere else, it woulda left folks slack jawed!"

"Sans, that was AWFUL." Papyrus shouts, stamping one foot on the ground.

"awfully punderful!"