The dreams.

Future

you ly alone in the grass staring up at the sky into the darkness, then back over to the street light. they fight...they scream back and forth.....your emotions build inside you....and the over flow you stand pacing back and forth, wishing it would rain..wishing there were some kind of blanket you could throw over yourself that would hide your pain. you cry into the water dripping down your face. cursing when all was said and done even though you knew to yourself that its not your fight.

little girl, good girl, perfect girl,.....everything feels right...everything gets better...your dreams start to take flight...someone you hold dear starts to fade in line...you stop to realize what you're doing....i have to make him mine. through your sorrows you clung to him, while the heavy burdens weighed your heart. through the fear and and hatred he'd never let you fall apart, you smile with joy up at the stained glass window, its only a picture but to you its much more than just a window. the hour glass filled with sand is starting to break beneath your hand.....the pieces fall like broken glass as you start to look back on your past....im not ready for this....you say it to yourself all the time...you hold a scarlet letter up telling you its time. you open up the scrolled paper reading of the words..your parents smile with joy with the words of the announcer.

the people place medals around your neck and money at your feet.....still inside whats this pang....one of defeat...you cant raise yourself...your not grown..maybe on the outside...but its never shown...you push away your fear and smile up at your parents proud of you...their baby graduated with honors. will you really make it? is this really it? your just a baby, how could you ever take it? you wonder to yourself if they've felt the same....the other kids that left this school...the one who got a scholarship to harvard..and his dad..and his dad's dad before him.

you take on last look upon your school group of friends, they smile widely proud of you and gladly shake your hand....we did it girl we made it!.....but you know that the real story has only just began....you take a look around you flowers and bows.....btu still through all the presents your anxiety shows. your smart enough! who told you that lie? no one mom im not.......