The dreams.

little

beautiful unfulfilled promises. beautiful forgotten dreams. pretty jewlery...pretty little girl....pretty room. pretty life. play pretend...pretend not to know...write your own music like you used to do. about things you could only imagine. give yourself a hand. clap and scream her name as the lights flash in your eyes. tears spill out onto an empty lap as the dreams of what yesterday could have been fade away into nothing.

you stomp through the puddles on your way from school to get home so you can throw off your shoes and walk back through the rain and puddles over the asphault. the headache wears off and leaves a numb, sleepy feeling. you listen but you hear nothing. did it change you? no, of course not. the trees surround you as you take off into the distance towards a big white house. where am i? is this a dream. you wake up and stare at the ceiling. he sits beside you and wraps you in his arms.

you feel his warmth and never want it to disappear. you wake up wishing you could fall asleep. you feel they doubt you. you feel it'll never change. you get to playful...they hate it. what do you do...you sit back and feel sorry for yourself and close yourself off and cry. emotional potato aren't you girl? your fat. what happened to you? why did you gain so much weight? she says your perfect size. its not true....when you look at the pictures your eyes disappear. you don'tlike pictures like you did a few years ago. you hate to take pictures. you just wish someone would help you. you don't like it. you wish they wouldn't feed you anymore.

quicksand pulls you under as the mirage of your future fades into the blue sky. a clown now aren't you? when u get sick it lasts awhile. its miserable. you can hardly function but you push yourself forward. the world doesn't stop for you or anyone else around you. when someone rejects you or pushes you away, or tells you to stop.....it hurts you. why does it hurt you so much? why are you so offended? you tell yourself not to get to offended but you always do. you take a long tearful shower. it goes away. so much is awaiting you in the future. so many expectations. they think your perfect.

you don't think your perfect. you don't even think your good enough for anyone. theres always more you could have done. your so scared. your so scared you won't get that scholarship. your so scared your life won't amount to much. your so scared......you were always scared. you also have little common sense. how will you ever survive on your own?