I wish i could see what you see.... I wish there were no mirrors to look back at me.
You say that I'm pretty but show me the proof..... I only feel ok when I'm alone.
I am even insecure in front of my best friend, even there I wish I could hide, or wear a mask. People don't know how I feel about me, because I dont want to tell them they'll pity me.
They will not understand and say that I lie to myself. I don't, but maybe my reflection does.
At school I wish the floor would swallow me whole. I look at my feet and walk ahead and tell myself its ok. When I go to the restroom at school when I go to wash my hands I try not to look up because everytime I do I hate what I see. I walk back into class cautious and shaking because I looked in the mirror too long and saw everything wrong with me and it made me not want to go back to class, it made me want to lock myself in a stall and wait on the bell to ring.
I wish I didn't feel this way about myself but I can't help it. I try to tell myself I'm pretty but it doesn't work.
I hate when my friend says no guy would ever want her, maybe because I hate to see her feel like me. I'm optimistic so I assure her that that's simply impossible but for myself I say it's possible, that I haven't had a boyfriend because what I am is not good enough, what I am is not slim enough, what I am is not desireable......
in my brain we are peices of a puzzle and each is beautiful and makes up a master piece but I don't see myself fitting into it.
I know god makes no mistakes, so god didn't make me ugly, I made myself ugly.....
YOU ARE READING
The dreams.
PoezjaThis book was originally written to be a fairytale but it became a book of my feelings and about me searching for myself....
