All We Do ↠ Bellamy Blake

chapter twenty-four

'When you come back you will not be you.

And I may not be I.'

E.M. Forster

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Day Thirty

When Olivia woke up, the first thing she felt was disorientated. Her body was swinging haphazardly and looking down; she saw someone's legs and the floor as they walked. They must have been carrying her fireman style. Her arms hung down, having been limp before and feeling heavy now. She tried to remember what had happened before she blacked out. That's when the second feeling hit her: anger.

"Orion!" Olivia shouted, trying to raise her torso up but finding that gravity was too strong, "I swear to God if you don't put me down right this second!" She felt like both a parent scolding their child and a disobedient child being dragged around after they'd misbehaved. Her mind was racing as the evenings events kept coming back to her and she remembered the look on Bellamy's face. It felt like he'd been saying goodbye forever.

Orion stopped, putting her down on her feet. She was slightly out of balance so he held her shoulders until she regained it, taking a cautious step back when she was stable. Looking around, she saw that they were still in the forest, though the trees were thinning somewhat. Lincoln was carrying a wounded Octavia, who looked like she was sleeping, making Olivia wonder just how long she'd been out. It all felt like the day she'd come to the ground all over again, except this time, she was actually pissed. Bellamy had made another important decision without her.

"You're awake," Orion eyed her carefully, "How are you feeling?"

"Besides angry?" Olivia huffed, glaring at him. She found that she was feeling something else. "Sad, scared, worried. Should I continue?"

Looking back at Lincoln, Orion must have sensed the urgency of the situation as he turned back to her with a frustrated expression. "Look we can discuss this as we-"

"-I have to go back," Olivia cut him off, "I don't care about how safe it is. I have to go back."

"Skai-snacha, your niron wouldn't want that-"

"-I don't care. He apparently doesn't care what I want," Olivia trailed off, wiping away a stray tear. She gathered herself, turning to Orion seriously. She was trying to give off the aura of 'I'm a grown woman who can make her own decisions' because she was. Olivia was aware that Orion saw her as a little sister figure but she needed him to let her go despite that. "I am going back," she stated, "You can try to stop me but I'm going back there no matter what."

Huffing, Orion crossed his arms, "You're behaving like a spoilt child. Listen to yourself, Olivia, you want to go back to a battle scene and put yourself in risk for what?"

"For someone I care about, Orion!" she retorted, voice rising slightly, "For the people I care about. There's more than Bellamy back there and I have to go and see if they're okay."

"And if they're not?" he countered.

Olivia didn't reply, closing her eyes tightly. Some tears slipped down her cheek, which she didn't feel like she had the energy to swipe at. "I'm not your little sister, Orion," she said quietly, not able to meet his eyes as she said the statement. Usually he didn't have strong emotional responses but this made him flinch, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips turning down. This was one of those times that Olivia couldn't help but to flash to her parents, wondering if what she'd said was too harsh. "You don't have to save me," she breathed, finally able to meet his eyes.