Hello Perfection [Joey Graceffa Fan-Fic]

Chaper 50 - Truth Comes Out

A/N: Sorry about this chapter, I'm deffiently not beautifying it in anyway or 'sugar coating' it. it's serious. But I warn you it gets quite sadish. And omg 50th chapter and I'm over 1/4 of a 100,000. I love you all so much!
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I take ahold of his warm hands, they've probably been in his pockets.

The door opens and a Gush of cool air suddenly floods in. I move in close to him for body heat.

"Joey?" I sniffle.

"Yeah." he says after a few seconds, like he was processing what I said.

"Are you getting Jack and Finn today?" I say.

"Yeah." his mood drops suddenly.

"I'm scared." I say, the words weren't suppose to leave my mind.

"What are you scared of?" His beady eyes look down to me.

"The future, of us, of the baby, of Maia. Everything terrifies me." I breathe out. I can feel water slowly fill me eyes.

"So am I, Shae." he leans in to me, places a kiss on my forehead and puts his arm around my shoulder.
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"Its beautiful." I say, looking out at the shimmering water through the remaining trees in our way.

"Like you then I guess." He smirks.

"Cheesy," I smile. "but cute."

He turns off his phone torch as the full moon lights up the area.
The reflection of it almost perfect in the water.

We don't talk. we just sit down in each other's grasp, my head on his shoulder.
I want to bring up Maia again but I'm too afraid.

"You know what." I start, but I realise I've already said too much.

"What?" He replies, still looking out across the water.

"Actually, don't worry." I stop the conversation.

There was silence for a minute.

I stand up slowly, away from his grip. I slip off my shoes, socks and the jacket I borrowed and start walking down to the water. I put a foot in, its freezing, but I don't mind. I see Joey stand up and start walking down to the edge, but I ignore it. I walk in more until it soaks my pants, up to the knees. I face the deeper water and keep walking.

"Shae, what are you doing, its freezing." he yells, shivering.

It just gets deeper. two tears roll down my face but blink the rest away, I don't want Joey to notice.

"Shayla, what the hell are you doing."

My legs become weak and give way. the water gulps me up and my whole body falls under the water.

All I hear is splashing in the water, coming to me, my head emerges from the water and I hear his cries and him saying my name, over and over and over and over.........

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I hear mumbles. I hear my name and I hear heavy breathing.

I keep my eyes closed but I can hear fine now, it's coming back.

"... I know I did, I saw them." Joey says.

"She wouldn't do that Joey, don't be stupid." Sawyer replies.

"I'm an absolute Dick, I did this to her."

"Joey, stop Beating yourself up about it, you have no idea what it was." Sawyer says.

"Fucking idiot." Joey says to himself while weeping.

"I need to go downstairs, make the guests feel at home and all." Sawyer says. wait, what guests?

I hear the door shut and more of Joeys cries, I'm not sure whether or not I should show that I'm awake.

I flutter my eyes open and sit up.

"Shae, holy fuck." He gets off the chair and pulls me into a hug, he's pulls apart then kisses me about 14 times before letting me breathe.

"What?" I say, rubbing my head. I'm back in Joeys bed, last thing I remember I was back at the little log cabin.

"Do you remember anything?" he asks, holding my hand and knelling next to the bed.

"The log cabin thing and the video for Sawyer, but that's it." I think.

But then it comes back to me... The lake.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing." I lie, I don't want him asking questions.

"Nothing about the lake."

"What lake?"

"Shae, I know you're lying, I can tell by your facial expression." He says.

"I don't know." I say, shakily.

"Why would you do that? what was your aim in that?"

"Death." I say, boldly and confidently, I not going to sugar coat it.

"But, wait what?!"

"Nevermind." I feel the tears coming back

"Spill." he insists.

"Fine," I start. "We had a lake just like this down from my house back at home, its beauty was greater than this. I would go out there in my spear time, I would sketch it, I would listen to music while just examining, I would read by it, when I was in its presence, I felt at home."

"Keep going." he says, but I wanted to end it there.

"But I would also go out on my bad days... Joey, I've never really told anyone this, but then again, I guess I never had anyone i could tell. I would go out there on my bad days, when my parents weren't home, I would put my feet in the freezing water and slowly work my way in. The cold didn't bother me, I wanted to submerge myself and drift away, but I never could. I would tie a noose under a tree that I kept there. It might even still be there. I did try a few times, but I would stop myself just in time and fall to the ground in tears.

I haven't been in cold recently, being in LA and all, I was only going to go that far in, like usual but I obviously wasn't use to it."

"You're not telling me the whole story." He's a good mind reader, I'm not telling everything and I certainly don't plan to.

"I know I'm not." I say simply.

He doesn't question it though, he just kisses me passionately on the lips to stop the conversation.

"Also, Jack, Finn and Maia are down stairs." he says, ever so calmly.

"What do they know?" I ask, worriedly.

"That you fainted by the lake, only Sawyer knows about being in the lake."

"Ok. Joey, I'm cold, can you come in?" I ask, opening the sheets up from him to enter.

"Also, just saying, and please don't be mad, but because you were drenched and freezing, we had to take your clothes off. By we I mean me. Sawyer saw nothing, but I did see your scars." He says, snuggling up to me.

"Don't tell anyone, please." I whimper.

"I wouldn't, I'm the same." He sighs.

"In what way."

"I have scars in the same place."

"Why do you do it?" I ask, I hate this conversation, so much.

"Did," he corrects. "and when I was younger, my mother was an alcoholic, she would abuse me and my sister and I never really had a good back bone in my life. I did, bad, bad things Shae that I'm not proud of and they are a reminder to never go back, that I can get through. good things do happen, like you Shae. I love you, will you be my girlfriend again, please?"