I wrote a letter 2 years ago
About how I died and took my life.
There were people I wanted to forgive but never could.
This heart is now made of driftwood
12 years of being bullied and laughed at.
I had enough.
What was the point of going through all this stuff?
I sit in the attic and cry alone.
Holding your picture that you gave me
3 years ago.
June 16 the day you took your life.
The day I wept and cried all night.
That night I took a knife and slit my wrist.
Hoping to never breathe or love again...
June 16, 2015 I sat alone inside my home.
I wrote a letter saying goodbye.
Telling you why I committed suicide
I'm sorry mom and I'm sorry Dad.
Im sorry for causing the fights.
For causing the problems that I hear every night.
I didn't know life could get this bad.
I have no hope, no reason to live.
All I had to offer and all I had to give.
Was taken away in a flash.
I'm sorry my sisters for what I've done.
I've always loved you.
But I started to run.
Now with this gun I have to my head.
I'm gonna pull the trigger and then I'll be dead.
Away i will fly into the night.
When you come home
I will be out of sight.
I have a noose in my closet.
And a blade in my hand.
If the gun doesn't go off this is my plan.
It's 11:47 the time that you left.
I got left here alone inside of this mess.
Just thinking and crying alone in my room.
Blood all over the floor.
I slide the blade across my wrist again and again.
Blood drops to the floor
Like the bottom of the sea floor.
I can't do it again.
There's nothing inside
No love
No mercy
And no where to run and hide.
11:49 I saw your ghost.
You told me "this isn't you."
You can have hope.
I couldn't for a year.
I layed in my bed and cried myself to sleep.
Then I posted on Facebook that there's a way out.
That I wouldn't leave.
I said don't ever doubt me.
My suicide letter is still in my house.
Just waiting and hoping to be taken out.
I'm sorry I never told you before.
When I met you.
You were my new open door.
I found love
And found hope
I found someone I could love to the end of my days.
And I'm just trying to help you to not go away
