Today was the worst I think I've had.
Panic attacks while working and hatred being around people.
I used to love people.
But it all changed.
I changed and I don't think I can be the same.
Hatred of this game that I played.
I've been played a hand that wasn't real
But I've made the deal.
It stole my life right in front of me.
Left me alone in the street.
Can anyone help as I walk alone?
I ask but people just pass by
I'm invisible to most of y'all.
The only time you see me is when you want something.
Do you not know my feelings?
Have I not made them clear?
With everything I hold i keep you as my dear.
I want you near.
I've never told anyone the way I truly feel.
I'm sick and tired of feeling like this.
Like I'm lost in this deep black abyss
Lost in the echo and deep in my thoughts.
A violent turn table where my body just rots.
The nightmares are so real now.
I wake up and scream
In terror of losing the one that I need.
A violent slash on your wrist that you did.
And baby I know that you hid.
I found you just lying in a pool of your blood
And I instantly knew that it couldn't be undone.
My emotions come in like a flood.
Crying, and weeping for you.
Every tear that I cry can show you the truth.
How I felt about us and the part that we played.
And now your no longer apart of your pain.
My nightmares they eat me.
They cast me into the dark
The a gun in the hand
Aimed straight for the heart.
Just praying and hoping that it doesn't hit its mark.
