Freakish (Dear Evan Hansen)

For Forever

( a/n | 100 freaking reads?! You guys are amazing! Thank you so much!)

The next day, (Y/N) spotted Connor after school. He was just walking, in front of her, so they sped up to match his pace. The two didn't say anything. There was no exchange of words, no actions, just walking. But that didn't last for long.

"Hey, (Y/N), where are you going?" He asked them as they walked. "Aquarium," They said in response. "You work there or somethin'?"

"No, my Dad does. I just wait so he can give me a ride home," (Y/N) explained. Connor nodded. Again, silence. "Can I go with you?" Connor asked them.(Y/N) gave a nod.

They walked side by side until they reached the aquarium. Instead of going through the front door, (Y/N) went around the back to a side door. Connor followed them, unsure of what they was doing. If their Dad worked here, then shouldn't they be able to go through the front door?

When they went inside, Jonas was writing something down on a clipboard. "We'll be in the turtle room,"(Y/N) told him, and Jonas nodded, not looking up from his clipboard.

Connor followed (Y/N) into a room with camouflage walls and tanks inside the walls. Inside the tanks were several species of turtle, with descriptions of each type that they had. Connor walked over to one with red lines going down the side of its face. "Red-Eared Slider. Most commonly known for being the turtles that were in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," He heard (Y/N) say.

Connor looked up and over at (Y/N), a smile on his face. "Really?"He asked, laughing. (Y/N) nodded, walking over to the turtles. "You want to hold one?"They asked him. "Yeah," Connor told her.

(Y/N) left and quickly returned with a red eared slider. They handed it to Connor, who held it in his hands. The turtle crawled up onto his black hoodie, and he moved his other hand so it would climb onto that. It seemed like a game soon enough.

(Y/N) took the turtle and placed it on Connor's head, standing on their toes to do so.

And it stayed there.

And fell asleep.

Great.

"What's going on?"Connor asked, taking the look on (Y/N)'s face as a weird sign. "It fell asleep, didn't it?" He asked in a softer tone. (Y/N) nodded, and Connor bent down so (Y/N) could take it off. In doing so, it bit them, but they didn't flinch.

They placed the turtle back in its tank and sat down on the floor. Connor sat beside them, placing his hands on his knees. He looked up at the ceiling, which wasn't even really a ceiling. It was a metal mesh where sunlight leaked through. Right above that you could see the sky, blue as the ocean. Like a never ending wave of color.

Without realizing it, the two had sat in silence for a while, watching the sky. Jonas had come by to check on them, but he didn't say anything. His kid had made a friend, and that was enough. Maybe then Amanda would stop sending them to counseling.

Of course, Jonas knew that wouldn't happen. Amanda would never be satisfied with her kid. They were already weird, with liking music from the 90's and only using retro things like their Walkman or Polaroid, they even refused to use a cell phone. They had only used it twice before, and those were both for emergencies. There was no changing his kid, they were the way they were.

Connor looked away from the sky and at (Y/N). They were sitting Indian style, picking on the floor. Connor wanted to talk to them but wasn't sure how. The teen barely spoke, and he wasn't sure what to talk to them about. He wasn't sure on how to talk to anyone, anger and aggression usually being an outlet for his confusion and sorrow. Around (Y/ N) though, he didn't want to be angry. He just wanted to talk to them, but he wasn't sure how to start a conversation. They didn't like talking to people either, he knew that too.

He didn't know if (Y/N) wanted to be his friend, either. Everyone seemed to be scared of him, didn't want to be caught within eye sight of him. He hadn't spoken to them at all until this year, which was the last year of high school. Senior year, and he hadn't spoken to this person at all. 'Wow, good job at making friends,' he thought. He had always seen them, be it be outside or in the hall, but never talked to them. Neither of them appeared to be talking to anyone at those times, but neither of them wanted to talk to anyone. Maybe the two weren't so different after all.

"Have you ever wondered what death was like?"

(Y/N) looked over to Connor, their (e/c) eyes wide. They didn't open their mouth, just nodded. The two were looking each other in the eye now. "A lot," They whispered. "Why?" He asked them.

"It was at the end of May, or maybe early June, I don't remember, it was a long time ago. I was with a friend, and we went to an orchard. I might have been six or seven. We sang stupid songs and told crappy jokes. It seemed like a fun day. Well, she started running towards the tallest tree, shouting 'Follow Me!', and I did because she was my friend, y'know?"(Y/N) took a breath.

"Well, I followed her to the tallest branch. We sat up there for a little while, and then she- she pushed me off the branch. It was at least twenty feet up. I broke my leg. She never apologized, saying that I should have died. She left me there, in the orchard, and my Mom found me an hour later, in the tall grass, crying."

(Y/N) wiped tears away from their eyes quickly. That was the most they had said to anyone in years.

Connor moved closer and wrapped his arms around(Y/N), holding them close." I didn't want any friends after that. I always thought that because she was my friend she was right. She usually was right. So when she said I should have died, I believed it. Hell, I don't know why I still believe the bitch. It's something that's instilled in me, scarred into my brain."

Connor hugged her tightly. The teen needed a friend, but they didn't want something like that to happen again. It made him feel sick that someone would do that to (Y/N). Sure, he didn't know them that well, but they definitly didn't deserve that kind of shit. No one did.

(Y/N) felt sick to their stomach. Their body shook, tears formed in their eyes. They never told anyone about it, why they didn't want friends, why they didn't talk to anyone. It seemed weird, telling it to Connor, but at the same time it felt natural when they said it, like it was the right time, the right place.

So they sat in silence again, Connor holding onto (Y/N), whole they cried softly, rubbing their back. It felt natural, because it simply was.

For two friends.
True friends.
On a perfect day.