Freakish (Dear Evan Hansen)

Sincerely, Me

After the entire episode at the aquarium, both (Y/N) and Connor became vents for one another. They passed noted in class and emailed each other whenever possible, on both their worst and best days.

Today seemed to be a really bad day for Connor, you could tell just by looking at his face. He wasn't okay. He needed someone to talk to, so he opened up his laptop and started clicking away with the gray keys.

Dear (Y/N) (L/N),

Life sucks. School sucks. I suck. I don't know what to do anymore. It's like falling into a never ending void of darkness. It's like a black hole, you can't escape from it.

Sure, I love my parents but with them, each day's another fight. They tell me that if I stop smoking pot then everything might be alright.

Well, that's not the fucking case. Please, send some advice. I'll try it, whatever it is. Be more nice? I'll do it. Whatever it is, tell me.

Sincerely, your closest and dearest friend, me.

Connor clicked send and took a deep breath. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down. He needed his friend.

And (Y/N) could tell right away. They started typing as soon as they got the email. Their friend needed them, and they weren't going to hesitate.

Dear Connor Murphy,

I'm not the best for advice. Your parent's advice sucks. And hell yeah, everything fucking sucks. Don't listen to them, never listen to parents.

I'm not sending over advice, I'm sending over something better, and it's not just an email. It's not being nicer or stop smoking weed.

For now, take deep breaths and go on walks. Dude, I'm proud of you for making it this far. Don't freaking change. You're you, and that's all that matters.

Sincerely, your closest and dearest friend, me.

With that, (Y/N) powered down their desktop and grabbed their (f/c) bag before walking out the door, not even leaving a note for their parents. They wasn't going to waste time by scribbling on a piece of paper.

(Y/N) raced down the sidewalk, almost running. Of course, they wanted to run, but with as many people on the sidewalk today, they would have crashed into a stroller or bike. It took a little longer than expected, but they finally made it.

Now, they were knocking on the door to the Murphy household, hoping Connor would let them in. Thankfully he did. "(Y/N), thank God."

Connor dragged the teen up to his room and closed the door behind him. The walls were dark gray with band posters hung up. The posters ranged from Blink- 182 to MGMT. A few comic books laid on the floor in one pile and some hoodies were thrown askew. A desk sat in one corner of the room, and a bed in the other.

(Y/N) sat on the bed beside Connor, who ran a hand through his hair. He was shaking."Tell me what the hell happened. Now."

Connor took a shaky breath and prepared to retell what he had been through in the past few hours. He pulled up his hoodie sleeves and held out his arms. Cuts and bruises were there, some scared, some still healing, some newly made. He didn't want to look up at (Y/N), he just focused on his arms and spoke.

"I thought I was getting better, I really thought I was. Then this Rich guy started calling me gay because I wore my hair in a bun to school just once. Apparently, putting your hair in a bun if you're a guy makes you gay for some fucking reason. Then, Kurt and Ram helped him beat me up. Jake too."

"Well, I stopped wearing a bun. But no, I was still a gay kid who needed to be bullied. Now, painting your nails black make you gay. Then it's wearing black. Then it became smoking weed. They just started making things up and beat me up for it. So almost the whole school hates me, well, except for you."

(Y/N) held Connor's hands, which were horribly shaking. "How long?"They asked quietly.

"What?"

"How long have they been doing this to you? I'll fucking beat their asses if I have to. Rich is a small guy, I can take him,"(Y/N) said, cracking their knuckles. They looked pissed, and they had all the reason to be. People hurt their only friend, how else were they gonna take it?

"(Y/N), you can't just go beat those guys up. They'd kill you. I mean, yeah, you might be able to take Rich, but Kurt and Ram and Jake? They'll squish you."

(Y/N) thought about it for a moment and released their fists, which had clenched up to the point in made their knuckles white. "Fine. But I will get revenge, I promise you that. I'm pretty sure I heard Kurt and Ram giving each other handjobs underneath the bleachers while saying 'no homo'. Yeah, you're the gay one."

Connor laughed. "Hey, all that It takes is a little reinvention, and we'll be beating them in no time,"(Y/N) told him. "So you think we can change if we just give it some attention? Really?"

"Dude, all you gotta do is just believe you can be who you wanna be."

"Dang, you're inspirational."

(Y/N) laughed. "I try to be sometimes. I'm just glad to be your friend," They told him, putting their head on his shoulder. "So what were you doing before you came over?" Connor asked them.

"Getting some dirt on Jared. Dude, he works at Lush. That dude is addicted to bath bombs," (Y/N) said. "But can't those things kill you?"

"Hey, if it can, let him. Might do us a favor,"(Y/N) said. "Okay, that came out way darker than intended. Sorry,"(Y/N) added a few seconds after they realized what they said. Connor laughed again, and for some reason (Y/N) felt happy. They couldn't explain why they felt like this, they just did. They hadn't felt really happy in years, so it felt weird.

Whatever the reason, they didn't mind it. They were hanging out with their best and only friend, and that's all that mattered.