Freakish (Dear Evan Hansen)

Requiem

Another day, another boring science class. (Y/N) sat slumped over on the desk, hand covering one eye. It was honors Biology, and to be honest, they had never been so bored in their life. They already knew everything they were talking about and could explain it to the point where they could teach it if they wanted to.

"Alright, you'll be working in groups for your next assignment,"The teacher said, and everyone looked excited. "That I will be choosing. I don't trust some- okay, make that a lot of you, so I've decided your groups already."

Everyone looked moderately pissed off. Of course, it seemed fair as an idea, but in retrospect, it wasn't. One kid looked like he was about to throw a riot. The teacher called out names, but (Y/N) tuned them out until they heard theirs.

"(Y/N), Madeline, Michael, Connor, you're in a group," the teacher announced then moved on to the next group. (Y/N) looked over to Connor and then to everyone else in the group. Michael was a bit of a retro kid too, he liked out of print games and they heard him once talking about getting a Pac-Man tattoo. They weren't part of that conversation, they were just close enough to hear it. They sat beside him in this class. Madeline they couldn't see, in fact, (Y/N) wasn't even sure what Madeline looked like. The name seemed familiar but so distant at the same time.

"Alright, everyone get in your groups,"The teacher announced, everyone going to their respective places. Connor and Madeline came to the pair. Madeline seemed familiar again, but it was just something (Y/N) couldn't place."So what organ are we doing?" Michael asked. "How about the heart?"

"Too basic."

"Lungs?"

"No."

"How about the brain?"

"Perfect," Madeline said. (Y/N)'s eyes widened. The voice, the face, the name. Everything started making sense. A gear had gone off in their head, it started turning and cranking. They stood up and left the classroom, which raised a few eyebrows.

(Y/N) leaned against the lockers outside the classroom. Their breathing was irregular, where there should have been breaths there was holding it in. Their hands became clammy and tears formed in their eyes. Their mind was spinning, they were getting dizzy. Their back slid down the lockers and they curled into a ball, hugging their knees to their chest. They sobbed.

Connor walked outside the classroom with wide eyes. He dropped everything that was on his mind and raced over to (Y/N), crouching down beside them."What happened?"He asked.

(Y/N) looked up at him with red eyes, tears staining their (s/c) cheeks. "Rem-member when I-I told you a-about the girl w-who tried to k-kill me when I-I was seven?" (Y/N) asked. Connor nodded. "That's her. M-Madeline. She d-did this shit to me. She's the one who's made me so, so,"(Y/N) was having a hard time coming up with the proper word to describe what they were. They sure as hell wasn't normal. Madeline pushed them off a tree and told them that they should have died. They stared at her hands trying to come up with what to say.

"Freakish?" Connor tried. (Y/N) looked back up at him. "Freakish! S-she started this downward spiral of hate and pain and self-loathing, I-I don't know how many things she's caused just from one shove off a branch. How many problems, disorders, issues. I h-hated myself for years, over half of my life because of her. Hell, I-I still hate me!"

(Y/N) started crying again. The tears seemed to be never ending, so they just let them fall down and create puddles beside them. Connor rubbed her knee. "Hey, you shouldn't hate yourself. What that--that bitch did to you, it made you the person you are today. It made you my friend. My weird, retro friend. My only friend."

'Friend' was a weird word to describe (Y/N) from Connor's point of view. They had gotten really close in just a week. Friend seemed too little to describe them. They were pulling him out of a hole, and he was pulling (Y/N) out of theirs as well. They were helping each other heal from wounds scared into their brains. Saying 'friends' was too little to describe the way they were helping each other, but until Connor could find the right word, he would have to stick with 'friend' for now.

The bell rung and students flooded out into the halls. Connor helped (Y/N) stand up and get their bag from the last class. They had English next, whereas Connor had Math. "Are you gonna be okay?" Connor asked them.

(Y/N) sniffed and shrugged. "I'll be fine."

'I will sing no fucking requiem tonight.'

~

Sitting on a bench outside the aquarium, (Y/N) waited for Connor. A chill went through the air and they shivered, hugging their knees close to their body. It was the beginning of October, so this was expected.

Finally, Connor appeared with two cups in his hand. "Hey, where have you been?" (Y/N) asked, standing up. He handed them one of the cups. "Hot chocolate run. It's cold as shit out here. Thought you could use it."

(Y/N) smiled, their (s/c) cheeks darkening. "Thanks, man," They replied. There was the feeling again. The happiness and sadness and anger all at the same time. The confusion but understanding.

Connor waved a hand in front of their face. "Hey, (Y/N), you wanna get inside?"

Taking a sip from their hot chocolate, (Y/N) smiled and nodded. "I think I brought my Queen tape, so we could listen to that."

Walking towards the side door, Connor turned around. "News of the World?"

"You know it."

Connor threw fists in the air. "Hell yeah!"

(Y/N) laughed and rolled their eyes. They didn't have to grieve or something like they did earlier because they had an awesome friend like Connor. They shouldn't have to be quiet around him, they should say what they wanted to say. Thing is, they didn't know what they wanted to say yet.

So they just followed Connor inside and they watched the turtles again, singing along to the old songs that came on the track.

Damn, was this going to be one weird week to tell the counselors about.

(A/N: Ahhhhh, this chapter started getting crappy towards the end.

Thank you guys so much for Almost 500 reads! I mean seriously, I've put in a lot of work for this, and it makes me happy to know that you guys love this fandom as much as I do.

I'm also thinking about making a Treebros fanfic, but I'm not sure yet.

Again, thank you so much! I love you all and I hope that you are having amazing days.)