Freakish (Dear Evan Hansen)

To Break In A Glove

" Why the hell do you have a baseball glove?" Connor asked, picking up the leather item from one of (Y/N)' s shelves.

They shrugged." I dunno. I think it was John' s."

Connor put the glove back down." This place is really meant for you. I mean, it's on Strawberry Fields Street, it was designed in the late 70's, and it has all these cool old things in it. Like that radio or the TV. This place even smells like the 70's."

(Y/N) laughed. "By which you mean a pot party. Hell, I smoked a blunt in here the other day and they couldn't even tell the difference in smell. This place IS the 7o's."

Connor smiled at his date mate before looking at their wrist. "Did you really have to jump out of a window? You could have at least aimed for a bush."

"Hey, you think of something better to do. Plus, it beats living with Amanda."

"Touché."

(Y/N) thought about something for a minute. "Connor, why did you start?"

"Start what?"

"Y'know, drugs. Everyone has a reason. It was Amanda with me, Michael and Jeremy did it because it made everything seem okay, and a lot of people do it for popularity. With you, it's hard to tell exactly why you do it."

Connor sat down beside (Y/N), his elbows on his knees. "I was fourteen when I started. I just got so sick of the anxiety and stress and the mood swings that when someone told me that weed could lift that feeling off your shoulders, I took it the first chance I got. The feeling of pain washed away when I got high, and everything seemed okay. But it was only getting worse."

"I didn't eat, I rarely slept, and when I did it would be for hours upon hours, and I felt like it was okay. Being high made me feel happy, but I knew that I wasn't really happy. I could never have been happy."

"That's when the whole 'faggot' thing with Rich and Jake and Kurt and Ram started up. I was actually planning on ending it all on the Wednesday of the first week of school. That's when I meet you. Being with you, what happened in thr bathroom actually convinced me not to. Knowing that someone didn't hate me was enough to tell me that I had a purpose."

(Y/N) hugged Connor as tight as they could, like he would disappear from them if they didn't hold on tight enough. Connor hugged back. (Y/N) had tears in their eyes.

The guy they were in love with could have killed himself two days after he met them.

But he didn't.

Because of them.

" Connor, you said you knew you had a purpose. What do you think it is?"

" I don't know, but I'm gonna find my purpose."

(Y/N) smiled." I'll help you find it, I promise."

" Man, this bottom' s gonna be on top!" Connor shouted, earning a cock of an eyebrow." Really?"

" Not in a sexual way I swear."

" Sure."

(A/N:It was a lot longer, by like TWO THOUSAND WORDS FULL OF ANGST.

But considering how angsty this book already is, I thought I would spare you gus most of the cry fest.

I'm getting a haircut soon, which means goobye dysphoria, you thilthy son of a bitch!

Question, should I change the reader to a they/ them? This is totally up to you guys.

Thanks for loving this book as much as I do! You guys leave the funniest comments and you all have amazing personalities!

See ya, guys, gals, and non binary pals!

-Indigo)