Freakish (Dear Evan Hansen)

Disappear

(Y/N) sat in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall passing a joint between them and three guys, all of them wearing some sort of costume.

They looked at the other three people with them.

Connor, Michael, and Jeremy. The four biggest losers of the school were getting stoned in a bathroom at the party.

So you could say life was going great for the four of them so far.

Michael was playing Bob Marley on his phone while leaning against the door, Jeremy was staring at floor seeming to be contemplating life, Connor was trying to find the difference between his middle fingers, and (Y/N) was sitting in the tub while taking a huff from the joint.

They were wearing a long tan trench coat with jeans and angel wings on her back. They were Castiel, and Connor had dressed up as Dean. Michael and Jeremy were Finn and Jake from Adventure Time.

In short, everyone looked like a bunch of losers.

(Y/N) stood up from the tub. "I'm going to get a drink. I don't know when I'll be back."

They walked out into the hallway with their hands in their pockets with the joint still in their mouth. Girls were singing along to some random Whitney Houston song, a few guys were playing pool, and Jake's parents had left the liquor cabinet unlocked, so everyone was drunk. To most, this would be big fun, but to (Y/N) it seemed like hard mode in a video game.

Making their way through the crowd, (Y/N) finally found the drinks. Whatever wasn't alcoholic smelled off, and whatever was alcoholic would get you drunk off your ass in a few minutes.

So (Y/N) grabbed a bottle of Coke and stepped outside.

Sitting on the steps of the porch, (Y/N) could hear the sirens of the city, the whaling disturbing the silence of the night.

They heard the porch door open and close and someone sat down beside them.

"Hey Connor," they said, taking the joint out of their mouth and passing it to him.

"Hey. Thought you were coming back to the bathroom."

"I was going to, but after having to shove my way through a shit ton of people at a party I wasn't even invited to twice didn't sound like fun. Plus, I wanted to drink my Coke from Mexico outside."

Connor cocked an eyebrow. "How do you know it's from Mexico?" He asked while taking a drag on the joint. He let it drop out of his mouth and stomped it out.

(Y/N) smiled. "The language. Also, it tastes better. In Mexico, they still use real sugar. Same with Fanta and Sprite. Here, try it."

(Y/N) passed him the bottle and he took a swig.

"I'm either really high or you weren't lying, because this tastes great."

"It's both, probably."

(Y/N) looked up at the stars. They sighed before taking a swig of the Coke themselves. "I can't remember the last time I was this high."

Connor looked over at them in shock. "You too?"

(Y/N) nodded. "It helped with anxiety until I could handle it myself. I still do it sometimes if I have it on me."

"Didn't expect it coming from a person like you. Why would you need it?"

(Y/N) looked down at their feet, putting her elbows on her knees. "You haven't met Amanda. Putting me in counseling, trying to make me have friends. If I told her I had one, she'd make me get more and more, try to shape me into this perfect vision of hers."

(Y/N) rubbed their face. "It's so fucking frustrating. She hates that I curse, hates that I listen to things that her parents listened to, hates the way I dress. She hates everything I that I like out myself. If she found out I went to this party, she would probably get pissed at me for not getting laid."

Connor put his hand on their shoulder. "I'm sorry that you have to go through with that. She's a horrible sister or friend to have to-"

"Amanda is my fucking mother, Connor."

(Y/N)'s voice cracked as they spoke, tears threatened to pour out.

"That's it. I'm taking you to my house," Connor said quickly. He picked up (Y/N) and walked to his car (well, Zoe's car), placing them in the front seat. They hadn't even realized they had been moved, they were focused on trying not to cry. They didn't realize they were moving in a car, or that they had been picked up again and brought into a house, or to Connor's room.

"(Y/N), hey, are you okay?" Connor asked, scaring them from their dissociation. "Y-yeah, I'm fine I swear," they stuttered out.

Connor sighed. "No, you're not. I brought you to my house, if that's alright. I figured the only place you needed to be would be away from a lot of people and away from Amanda."

(Y/N) nodded. "Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you. "

"Don't mention it. I'm just trying to be a good..."

Connor couldn't find a good word to describe their relationship. "A good date mate," (Y/N) mumbled, starting to fall asleep.

In no time they did, and Connor brushed some of their hair out of their face. "A date mate, yeah."

                            ~

Jeremy and Michael looked everywhere for (Y/N) and Connor, the only people who cared if they disappeared. When they realized Connor's car had gone, they stopped panicking.

"Well,  they've gone to fuck."

" Oh my god Jeremy,  you can't just say that about two of your only friends."

(A/N: 2k reads. Two thousand reads. 163 votes. Guys, I'm surprised. Like, really fucking surprised. I could not ask for more.  Thank you all so much for reading this and loving the fandom as much as I do. I love how everyone picks up my references and connections to other musicals. Again, thank you all so much.)