Taking Risks

1

HER

My life has always been a routine. Ever since I was a child - all my activities were monitored and should be by the book. I needed to follow all of them lest I incur the wrath of my mother. Though I can never remember a time when my mother ever got angry at me.

Maybe because I have always simply and blindly followed her routine for me.

Wake up.
Breakfast.
Meds.
Read.
Lunch.
Meds.
Nap.
Snack.
Study.
Dinner.
Meds.
Sleep.

Repeat the following day.

Over and over for the last fifteen years of my life - it has always been that way. I never knew anything else.

So now, at twenty-two years of age - here I am, still following the same routine that I've known ever since. It is already late in the afternoon and I'm on my bed, lying down on my stomach, my MacBook opened in front of me.

It's study time. At least that's what's expected of me at this time.

But I am not really studying.

Instead - I am browsing and watching YouTube videos of guys and girls surfing in different parts of the Philippines. The one that I'm currently watching is a video of this guy surfing in the waters of Siargao. I have always liked his videos and I envy him for being able to be with the ocean so much. His videos are usually of him surfing with his buddies or giving a tutorial about what and what not to do during surfing and all that.

I hear knocking on my door as I continue to watch and browse. Briefly, I check on the username of the YouTuber I was watching - RFJ02 - and clicked on his subscribe button before moving down and checking his other videos.

"Pasok," I call softly and continue with what I was watching with a soft albeit bitter smile on my lips. I don't understand myself sometimes with why I torment myself like this when I know that I wouldn't be able to see these things in person, at all, in my lifetime.

"Meng?" I hear Ninna, my nurse, ask from my door before she opens it wide and strides in. She slowly sits beside me and I glance at her briefly before returning my gaze to my laptop.

"Kanina ka pa nandyan sa laptop mo. Simula pa kaninang umaga. Magdi-dinner na, nandyan ka pa rin," she tells me in a semi-chastising voice as she looks over my shoulder to check what I was watching. "Tsk. Dagat na naman. Haaay Menggay."

Ninna doesn't really get mad at me. Or she rarely does given her sweet nature. She's been with me as my nurse just 6 months ago, when my mom started to work a full time job that demanded her presence in the office. She's my nurse, yes - but she's also a friend. Though she's more like my older sister, to be honest - with the way she acts sometimes.

"Kakain na daw tayo sabi ng mama mo. Halika na. Sara mo na 'yang laptop mo."

Like right now.

I sigh and close my laptop before standing up slowly to reluctantly follow her out.

"Anong ulam?"

"Sinigang. Favorite mo 'yun 'di ba?" she replies as she turns around to smile at me. I simply nod in return and try to reciprocate her smile but all that came out was a grimace.

She chuckles as she hooks her arm with mine. "May chika nga pala ako sa'yo."

I roll my eyes at her playfully before biting at her bait. "Ok fine. Ano 'yang chika na 'yan? Siguraduhin mong juicy 'yan!"

"Ewan ko sa'yo! Ikaw na nga lang nakikibalita, eh!"

I turn my head to look at her dryly while raising a brow, making her giggle.