Taking Risks

13

HER

I wake up feeling shitty. Well, shittier than usual since I always wake up shitty anyway. Shittier because I wasn't able to get any decent sleep last night. Or rather - early this morning. I think I drifted off sometime around five or five-thirty and then Ninna was already waking me up at eight for my meds.

She probably saw how grumpy I was when she woke me up that she told me that I could go back to sleep after taking my meds. I did nothing but maybe glared at her and grunted before falling back down on my bed and going under my covers.

I did try to go back to sleep after that, closed my eyes and tried to relax. But to no avail. Of course.

What followed after that was me turning and tossing in bed, groaning and cursing why today of all days - he chose to dominate my thoughts. Wasn't it enough that he haunts my dreams already that now he needed to haunt my waking hours as well?

I was probably in bed for at least a couple more hours before I decided that I won't really be able to get any more decent shut-eye.

And that's where I'm at right now. Awake and sitting at the middle of my bed, to curtains still drawn to block out the sun and wanting nothing more than to drift for a few more moments before facing my reality again.

*sigh*

Knowing that I won't be able to rest any longer, I stand up and take some clothes out of my dresser to prepare for the day. Perhaps a hot shower will do me some good.

//

"Grabe ang busangot natin ngayon, Menggay ah."

I turn towards Ninna, glaring before scooping up my soggy cereal and trying to down it still. I'm not really in the mood for any small talk at this time of the morning. Or wait - isn't it lunch? It's almost close to lunch, isn't it?

Ahh... Who cares?

Today is just one of those days where I'm not really myself. Blame it on being sleep-deprived from the night before.

And blame it on that hunk neighbor of yours who sent you that video that kept you awake the whole entire night.

Shut up, self.

Though to be honest, it really was what kept me up all night. That video of his. Him. RJ.

My RJ.

Ah, talagang "My RJ" na 'no? Kailan pa bes? Eh hindi ba - kagabi lang kinukwestyon mo lahat ng nararamdaman mo patungkol sa kanya?

Tangina. Sabing shut up na, self eh!

Perks of not getting enough sleep. Being able to hold a one-sided conversation with yourself inside your head. Ninna is looking at me funny already. Though that must be because I'm currently stabbing my cereal with my spoon instead of eating it.

"Ooookkkkk..." Ninna says before getting up and getting my bowl, making me frown up at her. "Jusko ka, Nicomaine. Walang kasalanan ang cereal sa 'yo."

"Wala nga. Pero 'yung isa, meron," I mutter under my breath.

Taragis Menggay! Kanina lang "My RJ" tapos ngayon may galit ka na sa kanya?!

Another perk of being sleep-deprived. Becoming bipolar.

Ninna smirks in my direction just as she takes my bowl to the sink to rinse. "Uh-huh. At sinong isa na naman ito, ha? Eto ba ay 'yung ating surfer na kapitbahay na ang pangalan ay nagsisimula sa letrang R?"

I grunt in reply and remain silent, knowing that if I answer in the affirmative - I won't hear the end of it from Ninna. Though I guess by remaining silent - I am in fact affirming it.