❝ everything is perfect, baby ❞
-
affairs, lust and a four year old child never go well together, and when david walliams' skit of being in love with simon cowell unexpectedly snowballs into more, he learns that it's impossible to have perfection la...
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• DAVID •
I opened my eyes and blinked excitedly, trying to remember if last night really did happen. Did I actually kiss him again? Damn. He's a good kisser. We didn't do anything apart from kiss. It was just a long, passionate kiss.
But then my mother arrived, opening with her own key, and sat herself down in the lounge. Simon and I had to quickly dress ourselves and act like nothing had happened.
I moaned into the kiss, just as an opening sound occurred downstairs. I pulled away. "What was that?" Simon asked. I leant my head over the bannister and called, "Mum, is that you?" "Yes dear!" She replied. "Sh*t, sh*t, get your clothes on." I whispered to him, trying not to show how dark my eyes were with lust. He tugged his t-shirt on, and much to my disappointment, his trousers too. I couldn't help but bite my lip as he did so.
Interrupting my thoughts, my phone buzzed. From: Si We need to talk...?
To: Si Can't wait. X
I practically skipped with joy around my house, dressing myself excitedly and running out the door.
From: Si I'm just gonna see the different acts do an extra audition today. There's a few I'm unsure on.
To: Si May I join you?;)x
I then added.
To: Si P.S. Don't say nooooooooooo xx
From: Si God you're annoying..!
To: Si Ya love me!!!! ;)) xx
I clicked my phone off, simply delighted at the fact that I'd be seeing him. I turned on my car engine, speeding down the motorway unable to hold in my excitement.
All I could think about was the way he had kissed me the night previous. He'd kissed back. I was desperate just to feel his presence near me.
I ran in to the studio, unable to keep the smile off of my face, when I saw Simon sat on the couch with Lauren on his lap.
I couldn't help but show the disappointment on my face.
"Hey David!" Simon exclaimed, giving me a look, and patting the seat next to him. I begrudgingly took up his offer. I moved my knee slightly so it made contact with his, only for my benefit. My whole body felt on fire.
I saw him stare at my knee. He felt it too. He gave me a glance, warning me.
"Hi Dave!" Lauren said sweetly, putting a hand on my arm. "Don't touch me." I said in a monotone voice. She looked hurt. "Just ignore him, you know what he's like with people touching him." Simon comforted her. Not with you.
I desperately pondered a way out. "I have work to do, Simon. I'll see you in the office?" I asked. "Yeah," he agreed, "maybe you should go, Lauren... you'll just get bored sat here, what with Eric being at school." "Yeah. You should go." I muttered. Simon glared. She obliged, before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. She pulled away after a few seconds.
It hurt so much I had to look away
"I'll see you later, Dave." She smirked, giving me one last smug look before walking out. Simon was oblivious to her boasting. She knew I fancied Simon. Some how, she knew.
I strolled into the office, and sit on the couch, watching Simon follow me. "Sorry about, y'know..." He mumbled, smiling apologetically. "It's fine." I muttered sulkily, before getting out paperwork and signing contracts.
"Wait, you're actually doing work?" Simon exclaimed in disbelief, sitting on the edge of the desk.
"That's why I'm here, isn't it?" I said smugly in return. He wasn't going to get away with kissing Lauren like that in front of me.
"Oh, I just-" he stuttered, before I cut him off.
I got up from the couch, and stood next to the desk so we were eye level. I stood between his legs, our lips millimetres apart. I gripped the sides of his waist, moving my hands down and putting pressure on his hip bones. I flashed him a smile. He wrapped his legs around my waist and I tangled my hands into his chair, our lips still far apart.
"Anyway, better get onto work." I shrugged, before walking out the door, leaving him hot and flustered, still sat on the desk.
I smirked as I sat down on the make up chair, scrolling through my messages.
Checking on twitter, I noticed one notification that stood out.
@ Lauren_C God, you don't know who you're messing with. Back off.
It was just a tweet, not addressed to anyone. But I knew who it was aimed at. Me.
Sighing, I closed the negative atmosphere that is commonly called Twitter. I had one email from an unknown address. I furrowed my eyebrows.
From: Unknown 400k tomorrow or this gets leaked. {file 2827482144272819}
Nervous, I clicked the link to the file. And what was inside?
A photo of two men. One was sat on the desk, straddling the other. Their hands were tangled in each other's hair, their lips were millimetres apart. At a second glance, you'd think they were touching.
That's when it hit me. The photo was of Simon and I. I did not have 400k.
Simon came out of the office, smirking. His upturned lips immediately fell when he saw my face.
"David?" He asked. I dropped from the couch onto the floor, shaking.
"Oh my God, are you having a panic attack? What's wrong?" He fell down next to me, grabbing my arm.
One photo could ruin his life. He'd hate me. Lauren would hate me. I'd be the one who tore a toddlers parents apart.
"David!" He yelled, shaking my shoulders.
"I- The- The Photo!" I stuttered out. I knew I was having a panic attack. I felt a sudden urge of overwhelming anxiety and fear. My heart pounded, my muscles feeling taught and compressed. I felt claustrophobic and like I needed to run and stretch. My brain went into overdrive.
They used to happen once or twice a week. I hadn't even had one since I joined Britains Got Talent, but I'd quietly let Simon know when he interviewed me. I knew Simon was the reason why.
"I'm so-" I mumbled, before everything went black.
