❝ everything is perfect, baby ❞
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affairs, lust and a four year old child never go well together, and when david walliams' skit of being in love with simon cowell unexpectedly snowballs into more, he learns that it's impossible to have perfection la...
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• SIMON • 2 months later He pushed me against the door, his hair dripping wet and his stomach toned. His lips touched mine, causing me to mutter his name into the kiss.
"What?" Lauren asked, awakening me from my slumber. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, blushing at the dream. "What did you I just say?" She exclaimed, flabbergasted. "Nothing?" I asked sleepily. "You just moaned David's name in your sleep, you b*stard! Look, you're blushing!" She yelled, causing Eric to waddle into the room with a concerned look on his face. "Eric, Daddy needs you to go play with your cars for a bit." I ordered, watching the toddler follow my request. "I didn't say anything..." I bluffed, panicking internally. "I can't be bothered with this, Simon. Something's going on between you and him, I know it." She screamed.
I shook my head, muttering profanities under my breath, before grabbing my phone and walking out the door. All I wore was black sweatpants and a white v-neck top. I drove straight to Davids house, letting myself in with the key he gave me a few weeks ago.
I walked up to his bedroom to see him fast asleep, his phone on his chest. I smiled at his peaceful state, before climbing onto the bed and laying beside him.
He instinctively wrapped an arm around me, and mumbled sleepily, "What're you doing here, Si?"
"I had a dream about you..." I began, causing him to sit up and smirk, rubbing his eyes.
"I always dream about you." He retorted smuttily.
"How can you make smutty comments when you've only been awake for thirty seconds?" I asked, shaking my head.
"It's my super power, baby." He replied.
"And I moaned your name in my sleep, Lauren heard and now she's accusing me of having an affair with you." I explained. His jaw dropped open. "-and, I want to tell her. I want to tell her we're having an affair." I finished.
"Are you crazy?" He asked, bewildered. I took a deep breath, and then said it, "Crazy in love with you."
"What?" He asked.
"F*ck, David, don't make things more hard than it has to be." I complained. "I always do that." He winked. "Not the time!" I exclaimed. He gave me a sheepish grin.
"I'm f*cking in love with you, Walliams. Deal with it." I told him.
"You know how I'm gonna deal with it?" He asked, smirking cheekily. He flipped my body under neath him so he was hovering on top of me. I bit my lip, shaking my head.
"By showing you how much I love you." He whispered, smashing his lips into mine.
••
• DAVID •
We were in Norrington today, and I was pissed off, to say the least.
"Simon?" I asked, annoyed. "Yeah?" He replied, smiling softly. "I need a word." I answered. Alesha wolf whistled as we walked over to the corner of the room, causing staff to look at her confusedly.
"Shut up, Dixon." Simon called as he faced me. "They've moved us back to the old seating arrangement." I mumbled. "What?" He asked, clearly upset too. "Yes. In Norrington apparently it's too difficult to swap the red buzzers and we have to sit at either end of the table." I explained. He sighed, clearly frustrated. "I'll miss you..." I whispered cheekily, shaking my thoughts away. "David, staff are here, later." He muttered, walking over to the make up chairs. The artist began to apply the make up as he sighed, looking through twitter.
• SIMON • Seeing him out the corner of my eye, I watched as David leant down the table to look at me. He bit his lip, raising an eyebrow, clearly trying to get a reaction from me. I tried to ignore him, focussing on the act in front of us. It was Jamie Lee Harrison, an amazing singer. Right after he finished the song, we had a small break, lasting only a few minutes. David walked over from his seat and perched on the end of the section of desk allocated to me.
"Hi." He greeted, resting his feet on my knees. "What do you want?" I asked, smiling. "A lot of things." He replied, smirking and moving his foot further up my leg. I grabbed his foot off my leg and placed it on the floor. "Stop." I chuckled, pushing him away. "Never." He winked, walking back to his desk and sassily wiggling his ass as he walked.
He sat down, pulling out his phone and quickly typing something. My phone buzzed.
From: David Stop checking out my bum ;) I blushed, biting my lip.
To: David What! I wasn't!
The message delivered to his phone, causing him to grin.
From: David I always check out your bum ;)
My stomach tensed as I replied.
To: David Who can blame you? It is a very good bum :)
From: David Hmm... Yes, but not as good as mine. End of discussion. X
I smirked at his message, leaning forward on the table to face him. He winked, and I bit my lip. I was surprised that my lip wasn't bleeding, the amount he causes me to bite it.
••
"Can you come to mine tonight?" David asked quietly as the auditions ended and we were walking backstage.
"I don't know, things are difficult with Lauren, now. If I don't come home tonight, she'll know, straight away." I mumbled in return.
He checked behind him to see if anyone was there. I did the same. We were right at the back. He grabbed my bum, smirking.
"Can't you sneak out?" He grinned.
I blushed deeply at his touch, a whole crowd of butterflies exploding in my stomach. "I'll try." I whispered, causing him to smirk satisfactorily and walk away, letting go and leaving me flustered.
• AUTHOR •
So, Lauren's becoming suspicious! And Damon finally said I love you! It's such a cute scene, I really think that that is how they'd say it.
