❝ everything is perfect, baby ❞
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affairs, lust and a four year old child never go well together, and when david walliams' skit of being in love with simon cowell unexpectedly snowballs into more, he learns that it's impossible to have perfection la...
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Please check out the trailer for this book. It's pinned to my twitter profile (damon_bgt) Also please read the authors note at the end :( • SIMON •
I decided to ignore the message until David was awake.
The next morning, I awoke with his arms wrapped around mine. It was my favourite way to wake up. His arms were so protecting, his head often resting in the crook of my neck. I couldn't even explain the way I felt for him. It was like every time we touched, even just his hand brushing against mine to pass me in the kitchen, sparks were flying through my body and my stomach was on fire. It was like that song, 'I don't need no butterflies, no you give me the whole damn zoo.'
His hair was fluffy and disheveled, my favourite way for his hair to be. His legs were tangled in mine as he breathed in heavily. "Morning, babe..." he mumbled, his voice rough from sleep. I turned around, pecking his lips, before returning to our previous position. "I love you so much, David." I whispered. "And I love you, too." He replied, snuggling into me. "How much?" I teased. "This much." He answered, laughing and climbing on top of me to shower me with kisses.
Three hours later, I was sat home alone due to David being at an interview for his latest book - The Worlds Worst Children 2.
I cast my mind back to last night. (Authornote • ik this happened in auditions but for the story it's going to happen in the finals)
I still chuckled thinking about it. During one of the final act performances, David and the girls had all climbed onto the judging panel and began to dance. At this point, David's trousers had 'accidentally' fell down and he was left in his y fronts.
I logged onto twitter and was shocked at all the hate David was getting. Did he know he was getting this kind of hate?
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I stared at the comments, anger fuming inside me. It was just a joke, and if I'd had a problem with it I would've said so. I decided to write out a tweet under all the comments.
@ Simoncowell Really do think it's disappointing that people are commenting things like this. You should be the ones sacked, not David. Oh wait, you can't get sacked, you don't have a job... That must be why you're criticising someone who has actually done something with their life. And if you do have a job... spend more time on it instead of trolling someone who was trying to make people laugh. Cue the oversensitive brigade.
There were many likes and retweets, from many people like Rob Brydon, Amanda and Alesha, Ant 'n' Dec, Stephen, and then of course Little Mix and the 1D boys began to retweet and like.
David arrived home an hour later, looking down and upset. "Have you seen twitter?" I asked, enveloping him into a hug. He nodded, before bursting into tears on my shoulder. Many people would think it's a silly thing for him to be upset about, but when there's hundreds of hate comments being directed at you in all hours, you'd understand why he's in this state. Plus, he was upset and annoyed about the text from Lara, too.
"Wanna watch a film and cuddle?" He asked, sniffling. "I'll sort the popcorn, babe." I replied. "Babe?" He questioned, his mood cheering slightly, "you never call me babe!" "Oh," I said blushing and placing the popcorn in the microwave, "I meant Dave. Sorry." "Sokay." He smiled, the last of his tear stains fading.
I grabbed the blankets and popcorn, before handing him the remote. "What'd ya wanna watch?" He asked me, chucking popcorn at my face. The salt got into my eyes, causing me to blink rapidly. "Seriously David?" I said, jokingly annoyed, my eyes stinging. He gave a sheepish grin before I told him he could choose.
He picked Just Go With It, a romcom with Jennifer Anniston and Adam Sandler in. David was obsessed with Adam Sandler films, so I wasn't surprised when he chose this one. We'd probably watched it about ten times, including his other films like 50 first dates, Spanglish and Don't Mess With the Zohan.
Snuggling into me, his back leant into my stomach, he chuckled at the opening credits as I kissed his forehead.
"You don't deserve this, Dave. It's stupid and hateful." I whispered, as he turned his head round and kissed my lips.
"I love you." "And I, you."
• AUTHOR • I AM UPSET. Like. Seriously. David doesn't deserve all the hate he's been getting on BGT's tweet involving him dropping his trousers. I swear, whenever a woman or man comes an auditions half naked, no one has an issue! But the second David drops his trousers, he's ruining children's lives!
Some people have nothing better to do. I really hope he's not letting the hate get to him.
Ily all. Thanks for the reads! Don't forget to vote and tell your friends :) •DamonFan2