❝ everything is perfect, baby ❞
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affairs, lust and a four year old child never go well together, and when david walliams' skit of being in love with simon cowell unexpectedly snowballs into more, he learns that it's impossible to have perfection la...
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• DAVID •
Something is up with him. I thought constantly throughout the next week. I'd been openly gay for one hundred and sixty eight hours. I mean, sure, it's kind of obvious - I'm camp as f*ck on television - but it felt good to say the words. It felt good to let everyone know that Simon was mine, and I was his.
He laid on the bed, staring at his phone, as I entered my bedroom. Our bedroom, now. Simon had crashed here for the last week. I jumped onto the bed and tickled him, trying to make him smile. He smiled slightly, but still looked worried. I whined, "Please tell me what's wrong, Si. I want to make-" I kissed his cheek. "Things-" I repeated the action, moving closer to his mouth. "Better." I finished, before kissing him on the lips. He smiled a genuine smile into the kiss, before saying, "I don't think it was Lauren who sent the photo in." It was a completely out-of-the-blue statement.
My eyes widened and I shook my head in disbelief. "Simon, c'mon. I know you lived with her for so long, you were married to her and you have Eric - who we need to discuss about - but she's the only one who had the photo. And the anonymous photographer."
He showed me his phone.
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I didn't know what to say. Being the jealous and sassy person I am, I pointed out her typing error - it should've said wouldn't - and rolled my eyes. Simon sighed, and said, "David... did she do it?" "I- Look, who knows, we need to do more investigating. Like, hell, am I glad that the public knows we're together, I just don't want someone invading our privacy like that." I explained in reply.
"But she would've driven off by the time we were- you know-" Simon added, not wanting to say the last bit. "Making out?" I asked with a cheeky grin. He blushed and I smirked at the fact that two words could make him feel like that.
"God, I just want to know who did it, Dave." He whispered as I hugged him. "I know... C'mon, super sleuth, lets go get ready..." I joked, nick naming him as a detective.
