Without You

thirteen.

'Can I ask you something?' Kelsey asks glancing at Demi who's staring out the window.

'Sure.' Demi replies.

'The other day when you and Wilmer were speaking you both talked about a miscarriage... Obviously if you don't want to talk about it that's completely fine.' Kelsey says and Demi shakes her head.

'It was years ago, Kels. When we came back from the honeymoon I found out I was pregnant and we were so happy. We decided to keep it a secret just for a little bit, you know? Absolutely no one knew; even when we had our first scan at nine weeks we didn't tell anyone. It was such a magical time until it all went wrong.' Demi says, the last part coming out no louder than a whisper.

'You don't have to tell me anymore if you don't want to, Dems. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.' Kelsey replies.

'Wilmer was in New York when I miscarried. He'd been away filming and he was planning on coming back on the Friday for our twelve week scan. It was the Thursday that I started bleeding and I tried phoning him but he didn't answer so I drove myself to the hospital... I'll never forget the look on his face when he found out.' Demi says quietly as the memories come flooding back.

'Hey, I was at the airport when you phoned and didn't get your message until I landed... Everything okay?' Wilmer asks making his way into the house.

'Wilmer...' She whispers glancing up from her position on the sofa.

'You still being sick? Hopefully now that you're nearing the end of the first trimester things will start getting better.' He says smiling as he tucks the covers under her feet and sits on the arm of the sofa.

'Wilmer, I-I lost the baby.' She says quietly and instantly the smile falls from his face. He stares at her for a few minutes, his gaze flicking from her face to her stomach before she begins to sob.

'Oh, nena...' He whispers moving towards her.

'I'm so sorry.' Kelsey says and Demi sighs.

'I think deep down that was the beginning of all our issues. I don't think of us properly grieved and I know he felt so guilty about not being there.' Demi replies running her hand across her stomach.

'Were you angry at him for not being there?' Kelsey asks.

'It wasn't his fault he wasn't there.' Demi says causing Kelsey to smile slightly.

'That's not what I asked.' Kelsey replies.

'I resented that I had to go through it on my own and I guess in the beginning I did push him away a bit but I don't think I was ever angry at him.' Demi says.

'Have you two ever properly sat down and spoke about it?' Kelsey asks and Demi shakes her head.

'Nope.' Demi replies.

'Maybe you should? Properly talk about how you both felt? Being completely honest with each other.' Kelsey says and Demi nods her head.

'Yeah I guess that would be a good idea.' Demi replies.

_____

'Hey, you...' Marissa says softly as she makes her way into the bedroom where Demi is curled up on the bed.

'You're here!' Demi replies smiling.

'I got here just over an hour ago.' Marissa replies as Demi leans up on her elbows.

'I was exhausted; that flight was awful.' Demi says and Marissa nods her head.

'How's my favourite little bump doing?' Marissa asks glancing down at Demi's stomach.

'Growing rapidly...' Demi replies smiling. She rests her hand on top of her stomach and feels the small swell of her stomach.

'Can I?' Marissa asks gesturing to Demi's hand and Demi nods her head.  Placing her hand on Demi's stomach Marissa smiles slightly.

'I still can't believe you're having a baby.' Marissa says and Demi nods her head.

'I can't believe I'm having a baby... Can I ask you something?' Demi says and Marissa nods her head.

'Sure.' Marissa replies.

'I'm planning on having a home birth and I would really like it if you were there.' Demi says causing Marissa to grin.

'Really? I'd love to be there.' Marissa replies and Demi nods her head.

'Having the baby at home means I can have as many people there as I want and I don't want to be stuck in a hospital unless I need to be.' Demi says.

'Of course I'll be there... When are you planning on telling the world?' Marissa asks and Demi shrugs her shoulders.

'I don't know if I'll be able to hide it much longer.' Demi replies as her phone vibrates. Glancing down at her side she smiles slightly before picking it up.

From Wilmer :
Enjoy your holiday. I was thinking once you get back I could maybe take you out for dinner so we can just spend sometime together?

To Wilmer :
I'd really like that. I was thinking we could maybe let everyone know about the baby? I'm already kind of showing and I don't think I can hide it for much longer

From Wilmer :
I'm up for that whenever you're ready to.

To Wilmer :
We can decide when I get back.

'Sorry, that was Wilmer.' Demi says glancing up at Marissa who smiles.

'Are you two okay now?' Marissa asks and Demi shakes her head.

'We've not been okay for a long time; we've just been really good at hiding it. We're trying to work things out though and I think we'll be okay.' Demi replies smiling slightly.