It makes me sick. That smile. I never knew I would be so bothered by such a minor feature. I have this absurd theory that she created the smile just to annoy me, but I know that's not the case. I asked Santana but that didn't go too well....
Flashback
"Do you think that, ahh never mind" I say waving off the thought immediately as it was just completely ridiculous.
"Go on Berry, I don't bite" I glared at her thoughtfully, yes or no. yes.
"Well I have this theory"I begin but pause as she groans. "As I was saying I have this theory that Quinn created a smile just to annoy me" I say internally yelling at myself for saying something that I now know sounds crazy.
End of flashback
Do you know what she did, she laughed. Nearly fell to the floor to top it all off but she did recompose herself quickly before she could be seen.
I never told anyone but I had a special smile just for Finn. It wasn't anything someone would catch onto, it was just something that only he got to see in full. I never wanted to become obsessed with the thought that a smile kept him with me. But I did. When I found out about him and Santana I felt broken and betrayed, no because of why he did (let's be honest it was gonna happen eventually) it's the fact that he lied to me about it. Then I didn't smile at him, then I cheated which is still too painful to think about. I haven't give him my smile since he broke up with me and I think that's the reason he can't even talk to me properly.
"Santana I need to smile" I blurt out as we are walking to glee practice.
"Then smile" she says with obvious fake enthusiasm. "No I created a smile just for Finn and I think I need to use it today" I whisper.
"Whatever"she mumbles.
As we come to the door I stop and tell Santana I will be a minute.
I think about all our great memories, the first kiss
Bowling
Faithfully
Duet competition
Right that's enough. I am still smiling at the thought of all those things as I enter the choir room and look Finn directly in the eye before sitting in my seat. He smiled back, not one of convenience when you pass someone you know in the shops, a real smile.
Progress.
"Finn for Nationals I would like you to sing Jessie's Girl, you were great when you sung it last year" Mr shue says giving me a side glance, he's on my side.
"What!"
But she not.
YOU ARE READING
Finchel- What if?
FanfictionI can't help but think what if? I feel as if ignoring the past it better and ignoring the what ifs I can do this ALONE, maybe not! I don't need him I don't think I ever did...but I want him.
