To be honestly honest I would have to say that I feel a strange inner conflict on the idea of leaving. I want to get rid of everything; the pain, the confusion but mostly Finn and I know to do that I must leave. On the other hand, my life has only been enhanced by the support and friendship of the Glee club. I'm definitely uncertain on whether I am undecided on my permanent trip to New York.
Obviously, my career will hugely benefit from it due to me being used to the surroundings and all that but can I perform without passion? I was always convinced my passion came from my love. I'm still convinced my love is for Finn. There's never been a question I couldn't answer, and it kills me that I don't have the one answer to the one question I need answered.
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"Can we at least talk about this?" Quinn asks impatiently as sit down with a huff. We're on way to New York. Finn is ignoring me. Everyone else is pretending that I'm not leaving. Talk about in denial. "Shouldn't this be the best news ever for you?" I sigh frustratedly. "Why?" She snaps, "because you used to infuriate me to the point of no return? Because I used to tease you because I was jealous? Because you had Finn and I didn't? What is it?" She asks on the verge of tears. "Quinn..." I trial off, unsure of how to comfort her. "You shouldn't have forgiven me. I broke a promise. I'm so sorry." She cries into my shoulder softly. "It's okay. At least I'm not that far Away"
"Too far for me. For Finn. For everyone."
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"Alright if anyone cries. I will slap you, got it? We are here to have fun, clear?" Quinn begins to march up and down our room whilst everyone, including me, stands in a line against the wall. "I know I'm not going to cry but I will scream if everyone doesn't get their behinds out my room" Santana steps forward off the wall. Everyone just mumbles in response before making a swift exit. Someone pulls at my arm and gently pulls me out the room after them. "I need to practice" I protest as the person attempts to speak. "Rachel..." Finn whines. My expression visibly softens. I nod my head, telling him to continue. "Will you please take a trip around New York with me?" He asks pulling a crumpled rose from his pocket. He's fighting for me. I've never had anyone fight for me. It's a nice feeling. "Yes" I smile, slowly taking the rose so that our fingers graze ever so slightly. "It's you. Just you" With that said he walks away pulling my heart alongside. I exhale heavily as I retreat to my shared room.
---
"I'm leaving. Please don't forget that" I whisper softly as we walk down the street. "I know but can we just have one night? Its the only thing I'll ask of you" Finn says interlocking our fingers. I nod slowly as we come to a stop outside a restaurant. "I will always love you"
YOU ARE READING
Finchel- What if?
FanfictionI can't help but think what if? I feel as if ignoring the past it better and ignoring the what ifs I can do this ALONE, maybe not! I don't need him I don't think I ever did...but I want him.
