Tour Whore

Chapter Seven

***Trigger Warning: Brief mention of suicide***

          Oh my god, what am I gonna do, you think to yourself the next morning as you catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror the next morning, between the bruised belt marks around your neck and the cuts from the handcuffs on your wrists you look like a walking suicide attempt, the bruises on your ass are another story entirely and tonight is opening night for tour. "Hey babe?" Josh calls you from the lounge. "Yeah" you answer. "I don't know what the hell you said to Brendon the other night but whatever it was is seems to be working, he's attempting to make everyone breakfast on that tiny little tour bus stove and invited us to join." he says. "Yeah well...about that... you're gonna have to come here..." you trail off. "Yeah babe what is it?" he asks heading towards the bathroom. "JESUS!" he exclaims when he sees you. "That noticeable huh?" you ask knowing the answer. "Baby I'm SO sorry" he says placing a kiss on the bruise on your neck, caressing it with his thumb. It's really tender to his touch but the feeling just makes you crave more marks. You let out a whine, a mix of pleasure and pain. "I was too rough, I didn't mean to mark you up so bad, I'm sorry." he apologizes. "Josh stop apologizing, I'm fine, I loved every second of last night, and I love these marks, honestly every time you  touch a bruise I just want you to give me more." You admit, as he smirks and bites his lip. "But right now I just really need you to help me cover them up for breakfast and think up a way to cover them up for the show tonight." you say in a panic. "Ummm here put these on" he says sliding off his red sweat bands and handing them to you. "These will work for now" you say sliding them on your wrists. "What about my neck? Where's Ryan Ross with his goddamn scarves when you need him." You joke, producing a chuckle from Josh. "Do you have one of those big slutty choker necklaces, all the girls are wearing now" he laughs. "Oh my god I think I do, you're a genius!" You say, grabbing his face and kissing his forehead with a loud "MWAH" and then digging through your luggage. "Yes!, Found it!" You exclaim, putting it on. It works more to disguise the bruise than to hide it, but it will have to do for now.  "Alright lets go eat, we'll figure out he rest later" you say. Josh gets up and heads to the tour bus exit and you follow. 

          Everyone is oddly quite as the two of you board the Panic! tour bus. "Mornin' guys" Josh says. "Mornin' DADDY!" Brendon says back with a laugh and smirk.  "Oh -My -God, I'm sorry guys..." Josh starts. Brendon pats him on the back  "Don't be sorry man, you must be doing something right, she never said that shit to me." Brendon says cutting him off sounding bitter. "I had no idea you guys could hear us, SHIT, I'm so sorry!" you say embarrassed. "Dont worry, Tyler ruined most of our fun drowning it out with his Ukulele playing. Apparently that was the best time to share some new songs he's working on." Brendon says, being a dick. You turn to Tyler and silently mouth Thank You and he nods. "Oh wow Tyler a new song? You'll have to play it again after breakfast, I wanna hear it, so what else did you guys do last night?" you ask desperately trying to change the subject. "Oh no, we much rather hear what you and DADDY did last night!" Brendon  pushes the subject. "Cut it Brendon!" Josh warns, walking away. "What's wrong DADDY?" Brendon calls after him. "BRENDON!!" the guys all snap, giving him a look. Brendon knows he crossed a line. The rest of breakfast is eaten in silence. 

            "Tyler, how do you feel about playing that new song again? I'd love to hear it, and I have something I wanna show you guys too." You say after breakfast desperate for some kind of interaction between everyone again. This awkward strain is not how you want to start this tour. "Sure." Tyler answers, looking at Josh. "Awesome, I'm gonna go grab my camera bag on the other bus be right back." You say as Josh gets up to follow you you can tell he wants to talk about what happened, but he is quickly intercepted by Brendon. "Hey man, sorry I crossed a line....." he starts off, as you walk off the bus to retrieve your camera bag from the other bus. 

          As you walk off the bus with your camera bag in hand and head back to Panic's bus you can still hear Josh and Brendon talking, their voices becoming more audible the closer you get. "Seriously, I'm sorry dude, I know you like her a lot, I haven't seen  you this happy since you were with your ex..." Brendon says before being cut off by Josh. "You know what, I really wish everyone would stop comparing her to my ex, she'll never be my ex" Your heart breaks , as you start to climb the stairs back on the bus. "because in the four days I've known her I already feel things for her I never felt with my ex in the year and a half we were together, yeah I loved her but this is just different somehow, a whole other level of love I never knew existed. I love her Brendon!" Josh finishes, as you stand there in shock at the top of the stairs, your camera bag sliding off your shoulder, down your arm and landing with a soft plop at your side, causing Josh to turn around, "How long have you been standing there?" He asks looking slightly panicked. "Long enough to tell you that I love you too!" You say running into his arms, tears streaming down your face like he just proposed instead of admitting that he loves you in front a bus full of his closest friends. Everyone claps, as you kiss through laughs and tears. Brendon rests his hand on your shoulder, bringing his head down to your level, looking you in the eyes "Hey I'm sorry, I mean it, I'm happy for you guys, I've NEVER seen Josh this happy." Brendon says sounding sincere, and making a point not to mention Josh's ex this time. "Thank you." you say. "Everyone to the lounge! New song time again." Tyler announces, and everyone follows. You snuggle up against Josh sitting on the floor next to him your head on his shoulder, arms wrapped around his and he drums his hands on his thighs while Tyler sings and plays ukulele. You don't know if it's the raw emotion of Tyler's voice, the beautiful lyrics, or the days events, but you find yourself moved to tears, wiping your eyes on the shoulder of Josh's sweatshirt. He notices pulling you in for a side hug and kiss on your forehead. "That was so beautiful you guys!" you exclaim eyes still wet as you give both the boys a hug. "So what did you have to show us babe?" Josh asks. "Ok I don't know is you guys have seen me or not at practice, between my scenes taking pics or what not but I'm really into photography and it's always been on my bucket list to be a tour photographer and I know this is probably the closest I'll ever get, but anyways I wanted to share some of the pics I got with you guys." You say pulling your laptop out of your camera bag and pulling up some of your favorites you uploaded. "Babe, you took these!?" Josh asks astonished. "Yeah, do you like them? I mean I know most of them are of you but I just really love capturing the movement of the drums, and I love you...so..." You trail off, your stomach fluttering having just said I love you to Josh first, for the first time. "That's what I love about them the movement, Tyler look at these!" Josh says excitedly. "These are amazing, there so unique, I feel like most concert photos, are just static stills, but these actually have a story to tell, how did you you get them to look like that? Tyler asks. "They're long exposures, I'm glad you guys like them" you answer. Tyler looks at Josh, Josh looks at Tyler , you can tell they are communicating something to each other, but what? What is it? "Babe?" Josh starts, "We want you to come on tour with us in  Spring and be our official tour photographer" he finishes. "You guys are kidding, right?" You ask looking to Tyler, then back to Josh again, your heart picking up speed. "No we're not kidding." Josh says taking your hand. "These are beautiful, Tyler's words have a story to tell and they deserve to be captured in a way only you can, so what do you say?" Josh asks "oh my god yes! you guys don't understand, this is my dream!" You manage to say through the tears of happiness steaming down your face, this has been such an emotional day. "But what about the strict 'No Girlfriends' on tour rule, I though you guys had?" you ask hoping they don't change their mind. "I think we can make an exception." Tyler says looking at Josh.