Tour Whore

Chapter Eight

          "Josh I'm freaking out we go on stage in forty five minutes and I'm covered in bruises and this makeup isn't cutting it and neither is this choker, and I refuse to go to hair and makeup and have them do it, I'm afraid they'll take one look at my neck and call the police." You say panicking  in your dressing room. "One of the other dancers gave me her lace gloves so that my wrists are covered at least" you say showing Josh. "Hey babe I know it's a long shot but do you think Brendon has any of that makeup left  they used to cover up his tattoos from when he did Kinky Boots." Josh suggests. "I doubt it but I'll go ask, finish getting yourself ready, don't worry about me." You say walking out of your dressing room to head to Brendons. "Hey Brendon?" You knock. "Yeah what's up? he says turning to look at you. "I don't remember those gloves being part of the costume last time or that choker, and definitely not Josh's flannel you have tied around your waist" he says looking confused. "Yeah about that...that's kind of why I'm here...Do you happen to have any of that makeup they used to cover your tattoos when you were doing Kinky Boots?" You ask. "Uhhh I might.. I'd have to check, they gave me a small tube in case  I needed a super quick touch up I could just do it  myself, but I'm not sure I still have it." He says. "Do you mind checking if you have it I could really use it?" you practically beg. "Yeah, sure why? What's a matter you got a few hickeys or something? Just go to hair and makeup, you know they'll take care of it."  He says, with a smirk. "It's more of an 'or something'." you admit pulling back the choker. "What the fuck happened!?" He exclaims "Well Josh..." you start. "Josh!?, Josh did this to you!?" He says, fuming. "Brendon, Brendon no relax, it's wasn't like that , I wanted him too..." "You wanted him too? Why would you....oh...OHHHH!" Brendon exclaims realizing what you mean. "Well damn, where did this kinky side of you come from? We were never like this, you must be really comfortable with Josh." He says sounding slightly disappointed. "Brendon I'm not having this conversation with you, I only told you because I'm desperate and was hoping you still had some makeup, now either you do or you don't." You say getting impatient. "Sorry, I'll look, gimme a second" he says, " And if you must know, yes I am comfortable with Josh ,I'm in love with him, you and I were just sex and you know that." You say as Brendon looks for the makeup. "Do I though?" he says "Do you, what?" you ask confused. "Do I know that it was just sex?" he says looking at you. "Brendon, what the fuck are you trying to say?" "I'm saying that back then I was so caught up in Ryan and trying to make it work with him that I didn't realize my feelings for you until I saw you in the airport a few days ago..."  Feeling uncomfortable you cut him off. "Brendon, I'm sorry that shipped has sailed." You state as a fact. "I realize that now but that first night I got my hopes up, thinking that we were reconnecting, that this was my second chance with you, I didn't know you were gonna fall for Josh, one of my best friends." He says sounding contrite. "Brendon I told you I was falling for him, and you basically told me that I was incapable because I'm a whore, remember?" you snap. "First off I apologized for that, and I know, I was just in denial, thinking I still had a chance, but after today's  events it's clear that ship has sailed like you said, so forgive me if I'm being a selfish, jealous asshole, while I'm forced to watch my best friend be so happy with the one thing I can't have, but its okay I'll be fine I'm no stranger to unrequited love." He admits. "Brendon I'm sorry I had no idea..." you say at a loss for words. "No really, I'm fine, seeing how happy you make Josh makes me happy, he needs you more than I do." He says as he locates the makeup handing it to you. "Oh my god thank you for this Brendon!.... And thank you for all the amazing opportunities you've given me over the years, you'll find someone I know it" You say giving him a hug. Before heading to the door. "Hey!" he stops you.  You turn around. "Don't say anything to Josh." he says softly. "I won't." You promise.

          Back in your dressing room Josh helps you apply the makeup covering the spots you can't reach, as your mind keeps replaying your conversation with Brendon. You feel guilty for keeping it from Josh but you know its for the best, you don't want to come in between them, and you and Brendon are both aware that nothing will ever happen between the two of you. "What's on your mind?" Josh asks. "Everyone keeps saying this is the happiest you've ever been, is that true? You ask, answering him  half truthful. "Absolutely!" he answers pulling you in for one last kiss before showtime. "Now go break a leg." he says smacking your ass as you walk towards the stage.