"Sounds to me like you're moving on." Josh said after I finished explaining Mackenzie's effect on me. "Which is a good thing." He added quickly. "Then why do I feel so unsure about it?" I asked. He sighed and patted my back, like he always did. "It doesn't matter if you would've met Mackenzie a month ago or two years from now, going through what you did is going to make you cautious when you get back out there." He said. I nodded slowly. He was right. At least I think he was. It felt right. "Dr. Johnson called last night. He wanted me to tell you to call him when you get a chance but I know you don't want to." He changed the subject to something I didn't want to talk about. Dr. Johnson was my therapist. Once I fell into the deep depression Josh had talked to him and convinced me to go to him. I went to see him once a week for two months and it didn't help at all. He tried to make me take antidepressants which I refused. He was always trying to convince me that I was okay, too. When I wasn't. But that didn't matter anymore because I quit going to him and I quit answering his calls. But I felt I didn't need him anymore. "You've been doing good, Simon. I'm proud of you." Josh said quietly from beside me. "Yeah going to sit on a park bench in the middle of the night and balling my eyes out is real good." I said sarcastically. "Much better than you were, you've got to admit." He said. I gave him a small nod as I remembered months ago when I passed out in the bathroom because I hadn't been eating properly or sleeping much at all. "But I'm not perfect, yet." I shrugged. "You never will be, mate." His hand was on my back again and I kept my eyes on the floor. I wanted to cry now but refrained from it. He had just said he had been proud of me for moving on and I couldn't disappoint him just yet.
•••
*Mackenzie's POV*
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276,345 likes. sweater weather.
I smiled at the picture I posted on Instagram before I put my phone down. It wasn't often I found the pictures I took of myself decent so when I did it was such a confidence-booster. And I always had the comments turned off for my Instagram posts, so it wasn't like I could receive any hate. I slipped the hoodie off of me and exchanged it for a sports bra and a Nike tank top. I worked out every morning for about two hours. I say morning but I meant whenever I woke up. I usually got home from the club around midnight and woke up at 8:30 AM. Then I would work out for two hours and then I usually had a meeting or a photoshoot or something. Then I came back home and did nothing until I had to go back to the club which was 6 PM. I didn't have to work there, I mean I made enough money modeling to afford everything, but I just didn't have anything else to do with my time. I had actually been thinking about quitting for a while now. As I was changing into some leggings my phone vibrated on my bed. It was a text from an unknown number so naturally I read it immediately.
Unknown: Hey it's Simon. What are you up to today?
I smiled at the thought of Simon. It was the first time he had crossed my mind all morning, but now that he was on my mind I knew he wouldn't leave quickly.
Mackenzie: Off to the gym first. Then a photoshoot. Then probably taking a nap/reading/being boring. Then the club
Simon: Mind of I come over during the nap/reading/being boring part of your busy day?
Mackenzie: If you'd like. Not like I have any other friends to be with :)
Simon: Great. Text me when you're home
*Simon's POV*
"Simon you've got a date!" Josh yelled at me as I walked into the kitchen. "What?" I asked, confused. I had just gotten out of the shower and had no idea what he was going on about. He then help up a phone in his hands. My phone. "Josh. No you didn't." I hid my face in my hands and sighed. "It wasn't anything bad. I just organized a little hang out session at her place." He shrugged. "I'm really not feeling it today, though." I groaned as I looked at him through my fingers. "Well start feeling it." He said, clapping his hands as he sent me a smile. I rolled my eyes. Josh knew that if I said I wasn't feeling it, I would be if I put in effort. "Start feeling what?" Vik asked when he came into the kitchen. He had a plate in his hands that had crumbs on it from the sandwich he had eaten earlier. "Simon's date." Josh said. "You're happy with yourself aren't you?" I asked Josh. I saw Vik kind of freeze out of the corner of my eye before he continued as normal, but with an uneasy look on his face. "Simon's got a date?" He asked as he placed the plate in the sink. "Simon's got a date? What?" JJ had walked into the kitchen then. He didn't look uneasy, no, he looked pissed. "You've got a date? Since when have you been talking to another girl?" He asked quickly. "It's not a date, Jide. I'm just going to her house to hang out. I only met her last night." I explained. I watched as he clenched his jaw. I knew the thought of someone replacing her made him angry, since he told me that a while ago. I had reassured him then that no one could ever replace her and I felt the need to do the same now. "From what I've heard, she helps Simon. Which is a good thing, right JJ?" Josh asked. I felt myself stare at the counter as I waited for his response. "Of course it's a good thing but -" JJ cut himself off as he sighed. "She can't be replaced, JJ. And she never will be."
