Moving On (A Sidemen Fanfiction)

XXIII

I froze in my tracks as I saw Josh sitting where I was sat last night. I was just coming from Mackenzie's room and wasn't expecting to see him at all, let alone going through the box I went through last night. "It's so weird seeing her again." He mumbled. I nodded slowly, looking down at my feet. I didn't want to talk about it. About her. "You've ruined these picture, you know?" He pointed to the pile of ones I crumbled. It was only four, but it was four memories. Just gone. "Which is a good thing." I looked up at Josh again. "What?" I asked. I expected him to be angry I ruined the pictures, but he was smiling at me. "It means you've moved on." He slowly stood up as I shook my head. "I cried until four in the morning, Josh. I'm far from moved on." "Oh please, Simon. To destroy those pictures is just like forgetting about it, innit?" He was still smiling, despite the weird look I must've been giving him. "And the crying....well. Are you sure you were crying over her?" I scoffed involuntarily. "What else would I be crying about?" He sighed, running a hand through his hair slowly. "Maybe you were just mourning the pain she once caused you." I paused as I thought about what he said. Josh never made any sense, and he barely made sense now, but I felt like what he said was accurate. Maybe I was just a bit overwhelmed because I had finally moved on. "It's been a rollercoaster, hasn't it?" Josh's voice made me look up at him again. "What has?" He laughed. It was a sarcastic laugh that told me I should know what he was talking about. But I didn't. Just because I had way too much on my mind. "Moving on, Simon."

•••

     I was surprised to be receiving a call from Mackenzie while I was editing. She had left for lunch with some other models only about an hour ago. "Everything alright?" I asked as I answered. "Don't be mad, okay?" She was speaking quietly and I could imagine her in the bathroom, hiding away from the other girls. "Okay." I said, nodding. "When we were on our date apparently paparazzi took a picture of us holding hands and now it is on Twitter. One of the girls showed it to me and was all like 'So what's happening between you and this YouTube guy?' and they had already been talking about their relationships so I kind of told them we were together. Like together together." She was speaking so quickly, like she was panicked. It confused me why she was so set on being approved by these girls. She was already perfect, even if they didn't think so. "Is that it?" I asked finally. I didn't  mind if people thought we were together. Not at all. "Yes." I found myself laughing. "Why would I be mad?" "Well I dunno. I mean we haven't labeled anything and I didn't know if you were okay with people thinking we were together." I could hear her taking deep breaths and I wanted to ask if she was okay, but I knew she'd say yes even if she wasn't. "Alright I have to go I've been in the bathroom too long. I may or may not text you later and ask for you to give me an excuse to leave early if it gets too awkward. See you later." And then the line went dead. I found myself smiling as I put my phone back on my desk. She said we hadn't labeled anything and I wondered if she wanted to. I wondered if she actually wanted to be considered my girlfriend. I wouldn't mind it at all, but the thought of it made my stomach twist ever so slightly. I hadn't had a girlfriend in so long. I've forgotten what it was like. Especially since Mackenzie was so much different than my ex. She never argued with me, she loved football, she didn't always feel the need to tell me what to do. Although my ex was best friends with the rest of the guys like Mackenzie was becoming, I felt like Mackenzie brought a bit of a happier vibe with her and I felt like the guys knew that. They knew that she was better than my ex, although none of them would admit it. Especially JJ. I slowly stood from my desk at the thought of JJ. We hadn't spoken about the whole situation in a while and, as one of my best friends, I felt like his opinion on it mattered. I found him in the kitchen along with Vik. They were eating quietly. "Where'd Mackenzie go?" JJ asked. "She went out to lunch with some other models." I shrugged. He nodded slowly. "So you guys went on a date, huh?" He asked. "I'll let you two talk." Vik mumbled before standing up and leaving. "She's replacing her. You know that?" I froze, waiting for him to continue, waiting for him to yell at me. "And it feels good." That was the second time to day I expected one of them to be angry and they weren't. "Good?" I asked. "I used to think that if she was replaced it would be like us forgetting about her but now that's it happening I know that we won't just forget about her, you know? And if I'm honest Mackenzie seems like the best choice to ever replace her." I smiled at what he was saying. "Alright I'm done being emotional. Do you want some of these?" He pointed to the chips on his plate as he stood up, wiping his hands on his pants. He didn't wait for me to answer. He just left without another word. And then Vik returned, a smile on his face. "She's a good one, you know?" There was no doubt he was stood just outside the kitchen for the entirety of mine and JJ's conversation. "Eavesdropper." I narrowed my eyes at him. He shrugged, the smile still evident. It made me happy to know the guys approved of Mackenzie. And it surprised me JJ did. He was always so set on never letting anyone ever replace her and now that he was okay with the idea of me getting a new girlfriend and letting a new girl get close to the rest of the guys it relaxed me. If JJ trusted her, then I could too.