I CAN'T SAVE US ↠ KAI PARKER

10. thesmophoria

(A/N: play the song when they're at Saintglant trust me best life tip I can give you)

Kai's POV

It changes. The look in her eyes changes. As if she were looking at me for the first time all over again and I pull her closer as a reflex because for a sweet second it almost makes me believe that things are back to the way they used to be, until I feel a pang of pain in my chest once the guilt of what I've done settles in and looking at how her innocent brown eyes now stare at me as if I'm just as innocent, only makes the pain a lot worse.

"All this time... I–... I'm so sorry, Kai. Why didn't you tell me any sooner? If I'd known–" she begins, her voice filled with sorrow and I cut her off because I know if I let her blame herself for this, it'll only make me want to undo the compulsion.

"I wish I could've," I said meaningfully even if I know she'll understand it as something completely different to what I truly meant "what matters now is that you know"

"We should go to Mystic Falls, I can just tell Damon to undo the compulsion and I'll remember everything about you" she suggests helpfully. If only it was that simple, I thought to myself.

"That's the thing... it's not that simple. Damon did the compulsion, yes, but your friend, Bonnie" I said almost spitting the psychic witch's name, "she did a spell, a compulsion spell on you, reinforcing Damon's. I'm not really sure why but it means Damon can't undo the compulsion... not if Bonnie doesn't lifts the spell, that's why we're here in the first place. Sage's helping me to find a way around it"

"Then we'll tell Bonnie, she'll help and I'm sure they won't have to undo the whole compulsion, if they're worried about keeping me safe. It'll just be the memories around you, you're my friend, she'll understand and she's powerful enough to do it" she said and I clench my jaw, my body tensing up in anger as I watch her speak so highly about the witch I've come to hate so deeply over the past six years.

"Bonnie, she..." I said suppressing a groan "she won't help. We didn't really get along... remember what I told you about Klaus?" I ask and she nods in response "Our friendship is sort of like that... they wouldn't understand, to them I'm just as bad as him and they'll think you're better off without me"

She stays silent for a moment, her eyes looking emptily at my side as she spaces out for a few seconds "You're right... they wouldn't, I'm sorry" she says, her lips curled slightly into a frown.

"But I'm working on it, I'll fix it" I reassure her, the determination in my voice having the same effect on me and the look of confidence in her eyes makes me completely sure that I will somehow pull this off.

"What I still don't understand is how I got involved with this whole bell thing or how does that relate to the devil" she says, her brown eyes narrowing at me as she awaits for my response.

"Not sure but it's Mystic Falls, trouble follows you around, remember?" I lied, the thing is I couldn't come up with any other better 'threat' and it only seemed fair to me to use the devil's card on her, given that nobody could possibly look bad compared to the guy and I needed a threat, so she would believe she was in trouble. It was a reason to a motive, the only way she would believe the compulsion was about anything other than the real reason and looking at how that turned out, this was the only feasible choice. Besides, after spending five years stuck in Cade's world of hurt, it gave me every right to use his pitiful existence however I wanted, we were practically family.