I CAN'T SAVE US ↠ KAI PARKER

18. changing hearts and minds

"Remember what you said about the whole timeline thing?" I asked and he gave me a slight nod "well... now that I know what happened... can I have more details about how exactly things are supposed to connect?"

"Right... yeah, um" he mumbled pausing for a few seconds and it wasn't until he frowned when I realized he was struggling to find the right thing to say "after I did what I did... my father sent me to this sort of 'prison'... it was kind of an alternate reality... a time loop, so I got locked up in a 1994 prison world re-living the same day for eighteen years"

"eighteen years?" I repeated a bit in shock, I couldn't even begin to imagine what that must've been like or how he was so... stable, all things considered, I mean for someone's who's been through hell and back literally, I would've expect them to be a little bit more... over the edge "yet you seem fine-ish" I finished the thought out loud and he chuckled dryly, as his smile vanished from his lips.

"What happened there... still haunts me to this day... it was pure hell and I've been in hell, though, not quite as bad as hell itself but pretty close" he said with a bit of humour in his voice, which I took it as more of a deflective kind-of-humour.

"So from what you've told me, when I met you... you were 'too far gone' and I do remember you said something about a strange 'lapse of time'... did we meet in your 'prison'?" I asked cautiously and he nodded.

"The three of you ended up in my prison world... I guess that's where it all started" he answered and I furrowed my eyebrows confused.

"'The three of you?'"

"You, Bonnie and Damon," he added, placing his hands over the table and I raised my eyebrows a bit surprised "Bonnie's grams, Sheila Bennett, helped my father create my prison world, so when Bon-Bon 'died' she sent her there so she wouldn't have to die die"

"Wait... when Bonnie died? The first time or..." but I don't finish the question because suddenly Damon's voice comes back to me, this time being actually more helpful than before "While Damon and Bonnie were gone. I was at Whitmore College, studying with my friends, nothing happened. I was never in the 1994 prison world. I was happy when they got back, I baked them a welcome back cake" I repeated in a monotonous voice but as soon as I realized what I had just said, a chill runs down my back and if I wasn't convinced enough that Kai was telling the truth, I was now, this was the best 'proof' I had to shut the constant compulsion-voice in my head telling me not to believe him "Oh my god... you were right... he compelled me to forget you... god— I..." I mumbled completely shocked, as if I was just grasping the gravity of the situation. I stood up from the dinning table and I began pacing around the room, feeling it shrink around me as I became overwhelmed by my own thoughts.

"I'm gonna kill him... I—... no, but you... you said I told him to compel me... right? no, you didn't say that—... did you?" I muttered incoherently and Kai stood up quickly, following me around the room cautiously "No, you didn't... this is so confusing... wait, did they— did they force a compulsion spell on me? oh my god... oh—... no, you said he did it to protect me from Cade..." and I stop dead on my tracks as the most off the rail thought crosses my mind but I'm quickly pulled out of my thoughts as I feel Kai's hand over my arm but I don't turn around, the vicious thought spreading in my head like poison and it somehow gives me enough courage to actually turn around and confront him "is that even true? the whole story about the Maxwell bell and Cade? Is he even after me? Is that why Damon compelled me or was the compulsion only about you? ... and before you answer, remember you promised to be honest with me"

And the way his expression changes to a worry-like one I've never seen on him before, sets a familiar feeling in me but I'm unable to describe it, so I don't focus too much on it. Kai stared at me warily and just as I thought he was about to answer, a dark grin begins lingering on his lips and he clenched his jaw, tilting his head a little "It's complicated" he says in a humorous tone and it's almost a call-back to when we were first starting to get to know each other, well, when I first started getting to know him again, and he would withhold information from me 'for my own protection' but now I wasn't even sure who he was protecting me from.