I CAN'T SAVE US ↠ KAI PARKER

26. no more heartbreaks

The more days passed, the less I tried to make sense out of everything that happened that night and this time, I was not trying to put it behind me or ignore it, I was more determined than ever. There was no reason to hide it, I was scared... terrified, even, because I knew there was no limit as to what he was capable of doing, specially now that he had no humanity. If he wiped out his entire coven with whatever little humanity he had back then... there was really no telling what he would do now but the thing about fear... is that it wakes you, and I knew I had to stop him before he decided to wipe out my family. Sadly, that was no easy task.

I had absolutely no leads on his remains and without my memories, that plan was a no go and truth was, nobody really knew what to do to stop him either... we had too much to lose. Bonnie focused on trying to figure out what kind of linking spell he did on me and after spending two solid days in confinement at the Armory, in case he'd found a way to use our current connection to spy on us, that I was allowed to be around others, and only after Bonnie performed some sort of psychic-connection block, of course. Not that being in lockup even mattered, not when everyone started to act differently around me. It was like they were walking on eggshells, waiting me to break and I knew some of them were just scared or trying to help but... I guess I was just processing things a little different to what they expected me to.

Since Kai had threatened us not to stop him, we realized all we could do was find an alternative or a way to predict his next move so we could be ready, and since the linking spell was also a no go because we feared he'd find out we were up to something and hurt the twins and Bonnie, a good locator spell was all we really had. And so I focused on what others thought it was our disadvantage... the linking spell, I knew there had to be some sort of loophole, or something I could work with. That, and helping Bonnie find as much Kai-memorabilia as I could possibly lay my hands on but either the compelled-version of me got rid of everything or she hid them too well, all I had was the necklace and that wasn't much help really, we needed a lot more than that to find him.

"Maddie?" I hear Elena's voice coming from the doorway but I just keep going through the contents inside one of the unpacked boxes containing some of our old belongings "Need any help?"

"I'm good, thanks" I answered quickly, as she walked to the spot next to me.

"I was thinking maybe we could do something together tonight, like when mom and dad had date night and we would all stay home and watch–"

"Maybe some other night"

"That's what you said last night," she sighed, placing her hand on my shoulder "I know you think not talking about it will make you feel better but it won't, it'll only make things worse"

"I already did. To you, Bonnie, Alaric, Caroline, the Salvatore's, Jeremy,–"

"I mean really talk about what happened... about how you feel and what you're going through," she said, taking both of my hands, so I would stop what I was doing and finally look at her "Maybe you think no one will understand but I do, trust me, I know better than anyone what you're going through"

"And what exactly is that?" I asked trying not to come off too harshly because I know she's just trying to help.

"Betrayed, hurt... full of regret... you gave your love to someone who's clearly not capable of love, you tried to help him and that was very kind of you but sometimes bad guys are just bad guys, that's just the way it is" she answered giving me a reassuring smile but I frowned, confused by her words because it wasn't what I was expecting to hear at all from her... because it's different to what she's been saying for the past five days and it almost feels as if she's trying to say something else.