Zayn's Maid

Chapter 60

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Perrie's P.O.V

I woke up slowly to the sound of irritating beeps and the patter of shitty white trainers on the Lino flooring. I groaned as I tried to move, feeling numb all over. A nurse rushed towards me and checked me over, smiling sadly before running off again. I didn't know where I was or what was going on inside me.

A midwife came in not long after and sat breakfast on the little table attached to my bed, to be honest it looked pretty disgusting. I tried to sit up and winced with pain in my lower stomach...then it hit me.

There was no fluttering, no jolting...nothing. It felt like a large hole had been left inside me and the emptiness felt lonely.

The midwife nodded towards the cold dry toast with an assortment of butter and jam sachets, my stomach churning at the thought of food. I shook my head and she sighed, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"You need to eat to get your strength back dear," she said softly, assuming I liked mushy strawberry jam and spreading it.

She cut it into little soldiers as you would for a toddler-

I threw up.

I choked and she cleaned me up, leaving and returning with new bed sheets.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"I've seen a lot worse," she laughed.

I was still fat, still rounded like a bloated hippopotamus.

"What was it?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" she said, taken aback by my question.

"The baby, if it didn't die, what would it have been," I explained.

She looked sympathetic and said,"knowing will only make it harder."

I nodded and she slipped away before I asked any more awkward questions.

The white corridors were busy during visiting hour, happy faces coming and going after the birth of new family members. They glanced through my window as they passed, expecting to see a cute newborn in my arms.

But they were oblivious.

I was staring a hole into the sheets when a white face appeared at the door, hair a blonde mess on top of his head. He looked different, tired, defeated. He smiled that same sympathetic smile I grew sick of, playing with his fingers nervously.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey," I replied.

He sat on the edge of the bed but refused to look me in the eye.

"Niall?"

His shoulders began to tremble, rubbing his eyes vigorously as the tears pricked his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he cried.

"It wasn't your fault-"

"But it was," he said, his red puffy eyes meeting mine, "it was all my fault."

He grabbed me all of a sudden and I pursed my lips as he squeezed me, painful but tender. His hand reached up my back and tangled in my flat hair, his tears seeping through my hospital gown. I cautiously patted him on the back and he flinched, reluctantly letting go.

"You must set things straight with Zayn," I said and his face contorted, "for me."

His body loosened slightly and he nodded, clasping my hand tightly.

"Get out," a voice said dryly from the doorway, my head turning to see Zayn.

"Zayn, wait-"

"No! He shouldn't be here," he said, clenching his fist.

"Zayn, let me explain. I am so-"

"Don't."

"Zayn, let him speak!" I cried, "I've had enough! This has gone on for too long!"

They looked down at me, then looked at each other. I prayed they wouldn't get kicked out for causing women in labour to curse even louder in horrific birthing videos taken by sweaty fathers.

Zayn rubbed his temple and sighed, slowly nodding as he thought of something to say.

"She's right," he mumbled, "all my attention needs be on Perrie from now on, and this isn't helping."

"I'm so sorry," Niall whispered, "I never wanted this to happen."

"It's not your fault, some things just can't be helped," Zayn said, forcing a smile.

Tears of happiness pricked my eyes as the two bear-hugged at the edge of my bed, it was like a reunion. And I was happy for them.