The Anatomy of a Parody Heart

ghost

Izzy.

He knows Izzy.

Enzo waits until the others are asleep, before sneaking downstairs, and into his father's old study.

He shuts the door.

Hesitates.

He doesn't turn on the light. He doesn't dare. Even with the door closed, the brightness of it would still attract Mum. Knowing her, she would think him a burglar, or a ghost. Something.

No one has been in his father's study for years. A thick layer of dust coats almost every surface. The table top. The computer. His father's age-old possessions - all thrown in together, in one corner. Discarded.

His father.

Enzo can't bear to think of him as Dad. He isn't Dad.

He moves a little further into the room. It is cramped and small in here. The smell of wine still hangs in the air. Enzo's mum used to come in here, to drink.

And to cry.

Enzo's foot bumps against a collection of empty wine bottles as he sits down at the desk. He squints at them. His mum must have hastily stuffed them under there, in the hope that her children would never find them.

Fat chance.

Enzo brushes some of the dust off the desk, then off the computer. It makes him cough.

The computer is still plugged in at the mains. Enzo powers it up. It has been almost fifteen years - fifteen years since his parents split up, since his father left them, since Mum signed all of those hundreds and hundreds of divorce forms. Since Mum started drinking.

Enzo is surprised that it still works.

And even more surprised that his mum hasn't smashed it up with a wine bottle.

This is the only computer left in the house, after Mum was forced to sell hers on eBay last year. He remembers her boxing it up with duct tape - lots and lots of duct tape - and passing it out to two men, in shabby black suits - who chucked it into the back of their van, and drove away.

He remembers Mum crying. He remembers -

A sudden thought makes Enzo pause, his hand on the mouse. A sudden thought that makes him cold, and then hot, and then shivery.

Mum was forced to sell her computer after they couldn't keep up with the Wi-Fi bill. There is no way that he is going to be able to search up anything without Wi-Fi.

Damn.

Damn.

Enzo swears, violently. Stands up.

Without Wi-Fi, Enzo can't find Pine Hill. He can't find Izzy. He can't find -

"Enzo?"

The light flicks on.

Enzo whips around.

Faith is standing in the doorway. She is clutching a teddy bear - clutching it hard - and staring at him.

"What was that word you said? You said - "

"Go back to bed, Faith," Enzo hisses.

She doesn't move. "I'm scared. I think there's a ghost in our room. Is there a ghost in our room?"

Enzo stares at her.

The cold, hot, shivery feeling creeps into his gut.

It isn't Mum that he should have been worried about.

It is the twins.

They seem to have lost about half of their usual maturity over the last few weeks (which isn't saying much); Faith, standing in the doorway, with her teddy, looks about six years old. There are dried tear marks on her face.

And the overwhelming smell of piss.

"There is, isn't there?" Faith wails. She starts to cry. "There's a ghost in our room!"

"No, Faith." Enzo gathers her up in his arms. Hugs her close. "There's no ghost. Shh. It's okay. There's no ghost. It's okay."

He rocks her a little, hugging her tight. Burying his face in her hair. Both Renn and Faith have ginger hair - bright ginger. A little curly, like Mum's. The twins are identical, but Enzo doesn't really see that, anymore. Faith has more freckles. More cheek. Her eyes are more green.

Faith clings to him. Her hands pass over his shirt. Over his chest.

Enzo waits for her to flinch.

Waits and waits and waits.

But she doesn't.

She doesn't.

Enzo doesn't think that he has ever loved her as much as he does then. He takes her face in his hands. Kisses her forehead.

And then wonders if he has ever done that before.

Why has he never done that before?

Enzo carries her upstairs. As carefully as he can.

He opens the wardrobe doors, and shows Faith the inside. "See? No ghost."

"No ghost," she echoes.

Hiccups.

Enzo lets her down, then pulls a fresh pair of pants and pyjama bottoms out of the drawer for her. Sends her into the bathroom to change.

While he waits, he takes her teddy bear (Mr Teddy) and tucks him into the nest of blankets, where Faith sleeps. Lying him so his head rests on the pillow.

"Enzo?"

Enzo turns.

Gem is sitting up in bed. Squinting at him through the darkness. "What're you doing?"

"Faith pissed herself." Pauses. "Again."

"Oh. Right." Gem rubs her eyes. "The last time she did this, she was five. It's like we're going backwards. All of us."

"Gem." Enzo moves closer to her, hesitant. "Do you - do you remember him?"

Gem stiffens. Her face stills. Closes up. "No," she says. Her voice is weird. Stilted. "Do you?"

"No."

This is the only time that Enzo has ever really tried to question her. To reach out to her. He has taken her by surprise.

She gives him a suspicious look. "Enzo, what - "

She is interrupted as Faith opens the bedroom door again.

But Enzo knows what she wants from him. He knows it just as she knew what he meant when he asked her that question.

She knows who he is.

They all do.

He is the freak. The monster. The ghost of Faith's nightmares.

He is the one that drove Mum mad.

And Enzo hates him.

I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.

He hates him because of what he did to them. Because of how he made Mum cry, and then shout, and then drink.

Because of how Faith is still having nightmares about him, even though she has never met him. Has never seen him.

Enzo clenches his jaw.

He made a little girl cry.

He made a little girl cry.

He closes his eyes.

You want to kill them, don't you?

Dan's words float back to him, through the darkness. Enzo grabs them. Holds onto them.

Holds them close.

Yes.

Yes, Dan.

I want to kill them.