Miracle

(3) Forget it

I'm not going to lie. I'm not the best in school. Nor will I ever be. But I try, I take notes and I work my damn hardest on tests.

I use to be good in school. Really good actually.

That was all before my mom became a drug addict and tore my life apart. I have a story. A deep story, that nobody knows besides the older kids. I got lucky to a certain extent, I haven't had that bad of a life until I was 14.

Being 19 now, it wasn't that long ago until my life turned to shit. Just five years, that all. At least I'm not like the younger kids who have been stuck in it through their whole lives so far.

School went fast, the day seemed like it flew by. Maybe, because I wanted it to go by so fast. Because of the eyes that were on me. I will admit, I'm not beautiful. I'm skinny, like really skinny from barely eating. I have bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep.

None of my clothes look at that great on me, because I lost so much weight. I don't have any money to spend on myself. So, it's not like I can run and buy everything brand new. I don't own any makeup, so therefore I don't use any of it. My hair, I don't even wanna talk about my hair.

It is so dead that it looks like I have baby hairs everywhere but it's actually just my hair being completely dead.

Maneuvering around people, I finally made my way out the door. I started heading towards my car when I remember it wasn't here. Now getting to work on time would be hell.

I need work, I need it so bad that I would literally run to it if I had too. That is probably what I was gonna end up having to do.

I know walking in my condition wouldn't be the best, considering I haven't eaten in days. I bring food home for the kids and they devour it in seconds. My mother will take what money we have and buy herself heroine to shoot herself up with. It sucks because I work so damn hard for it.

I started my walk home and called Kinsey to tell her I was going to be running around like a chicken with its head cut off. So I asked her to start getting the kids ready, like showering and making sure to do a head count.

The air was chilly, and I didn't have a very good shirt on for it. Maybe fifteen minutes later I made it to my car where I tried to start it again. No luck.

It's done for Miracle. Forget it.

I huffed and puffed. I had no idea what to do now. I spun around in a circle a few times looking for anything that I could possibly get a good idea from. That's when I came across a bike, smiling to myself I knew what I had to do when I got home. Or as what I like to call it, hell.

I quickly gathered my things out of my car putting them in a bag that I had from one of the kids. I grabbed the car seat that was in the back and continued my way home.

It took maybe another half an hour for me to get home. I was shaking from head to show from the chilly air. There was no doubt that I would get sick. Kinsey opened the door and helped with the car seat. Her blonde hair was a mess like it had been a really hard day for her.

I walked into the house and straight up the stairs, I went putting on my uniform. Work was going to be hell tonight. There was no preparing for it either.

"Sissy?" A sweet voice spoke from behind me. I buttoned the rest of my shirt up and turned to look at the little 7-year-old that had tears running down his face.

"What's wrong baby?" I asked bending down to his level. He didn't even have to explain anything. The high screeching scream that came from down the steps told me my mother was up and moving.

"Shit" I whispered to myself.

He began to cry even more covering his ears, "it's my fault sissy. I accidentally broke the lamp. I didn't mean to sissy, I swear. She's looking for me."

I pulled his hands away from his ears, "go sit over there in the corner. When the coast is clear I will have Kinsey come and get you. Okay?"

His shivering body told me that sounded like a plan. His little feet moved as fast as they could towards the corner I had directed him too.

I slipped on my shoes and ran down the squeaky wooden steps. Coming into the living room, there she was holding one of the girls by the neck up against the wall.

Every one of the kids were yelling and screaming in fear, I stood in shock for a few seconds. Then realizing what the hell was going on. I quickly pulled my mother away from one of the girls, "what the hell do you think you are doing?" I screamed at her.

She flinched as I yelled, making me laugh in my spot a little bit. She's the one flinching and she hits all of us, we should be the ones flinching.

Bastard.

This time she got in my face pushing me backwards. She pushed me up against the wall where the wallpaper was peeling away.

"You are NOT allowed to raise your goddamn voice at me! I'm your mother and you will go by my rules" she literally spit all over my face. The thought of what was all through her mouth made me want to puke everywhere.

"I don't claim you anymore as my mother. Your nothing but a waste of fresh air to me." I spat back.

She reached up slapping me a few times. It was to the point I was getting sick of it. I used my right foot and kicked her backwards.

"Don't ever fucking touch me like that again. I have no idea where your nasty fucking hands have been. Go!" I screamed in her face.

She crawled back a little bit, "aren't you going to be late for your precious job? I mean you might as well quit, you don't help the family anyways"

That hit me hard.

My eyes went wide and filled with tears, I do everything for this family. "You just stick a needle in your arm and call yourself a mother. That's all you do, which is considered nothing!"

"Miracle you do nothing!"

"I don't even wanna hear you say I do nothing. These kids are more mine than they are yours. Talk about not doing anything. All you did was give birth to us" I took whatever was on the stand beside me and threw it at her.

"Go!"

She hesitated to stand up. But, when she did, she walked straight out the front door.

After ordering Kinsey to go and get Ayden, I went to the backyard and grabbed the first bike I could find. I could tell it wasn't going to do much. But it was better than nothing.

I pushed the bike into the front yard and then walked back in checking on everyone. The twins looked at me as if begging me not to leave.

"I have to go" I whispered to each of them.

"Sissy! Please don't!" The littlest girl screamed in a very shaky voice.

I walked over to her and kneeled down, "I will be back before you know it" I kissed her forehead and just walked out.

After shutting the door behind me, a tear slid down my face. You'd think after five years of this, I could have the crying controlled.

Nope.