Miracle

(6) I'm sorry

After the scare, our family had the other day, I made sure to never take my eyes off the kids when I was home. Especially Ayden, because he has always worried me with his anxiety and his monophobia. Its caused from being a drug baby, the doctors have told me straight up.

The kids were in the middle of playing in the living room floor when the devil herself busted through the door high as ever. She walked towards the twins, Ryan and Tyla, making me jump a little. I don't like when she goes anywhere near the kids, and after Ayden went missing I cannot bare to even have another scare of losing one of them again.

But the shocking thing was she wasn't going to hurt them. She hesitated at first but pulled both of them in for a hug squeezing them tight. Their eyes were locked on me in fear, and I had the same expression. Not knowing what to do I sat the plate I was washing down in the dish water slowly trying not to make too much noise to disturb the beast. I quietly dried my hands off and took a step around the island stepping towards the living room.

She let go making me jump back a little, but then again, took me off guard. She kissed their heads and made them give her a knuckle bump. I went to reach for the baseball bat behind the fridge but she turned her head towards me and smiled. I was actually really scared at the moment, I didn't know what could happen. She could be giving hugs because she is going to shoot us or something.

I stepped away from the baseball bat so it wasn't obvious. She walked towards me a little and I took a step back. She giggled a little before looking down at her feet then back up at me, "Honey, I'm not going to hurt you. What kind of mother would I be if I hurt you?"

I asked myself that question every day of my life for the past 5 years. What kind of mother are you? I couldn't trust her, there was no way in hell I could trust her right now.

Just as I though, her mood switched in point five seconds from happy to storming at me.

"Why the hell are you scared of me? Miracle I am your own blood relative! How can you be scared of me? I gave birth to you! You were my Miracle! Why are you doing this to me?" She screamed walking closer to me.

I looked over at Kinsey and gave her the signal to get the kids up the steps as fast as she possibly could without much noise. The noise just makes situations worse, it's like she feeds off of it. She reached for a picture frame that I knew was going to be thrown at me. But, she stopped and looked at it.

It was a picture of me and her on my first birthday, before she went nuts.

"You were my Miracle, and now you are scared of me!" She cried out falling to the floor. I didn't know what to do, the look on her face told me to stay and rub her back, but my instincts told me to run and lock the doors.

"I never thought I was going to get to hold you let alone sing to you on your first birthday. The day I laid eyes on you it was like my world flipped upside down. We were both happy, me and your father were both happy with you..." She stopped for a second and took in a deep breath. Her eyes weren't as bloodshot as they were when she came in. Something was up and I wanted to know what it was.

Me being blunt I just had to ask, no messing around, "What's going on?"

She looked up at me and smiled, "Cant a mother gawk over her own beautiful daughter?"

I began to laugh, and I couldn't stop. "Since when am I your damn daughter? You hate all of us, and I know this is an act. You might as well stop the act Rye because I can see through it"

"You caught me, you caught me trying to be a mom. Can I have a few dollars to go buy a new lamp that baby Ayden broke?" She asked calmly. All she wanted was money, I should have known.

"What? You don't have enough money for all your drugs? You going through withdrawal and you thought this would work? You really are an idiot" I laughed.

I could see the anger I was setting off in her eyes, I was just waiting for her to snap. I couldn't help but look at her and want to cry. My mom at one point was gorgeous, her hair use to be healthy and happy, and her teeth use to be all there and nice and white. She was the perfect weight and she was actually a good mom. My mom could had been a model, an actual model. But look at her now, her hair is worse than mine when it comes to dead. She doesn't shower, and half her teeth are missing. She is sickly skinny and so unhappy that it makes me sick. This wasn't my mother standing in front of me. This was just some girl that decided to take our moms place.

I hoped one day she got help and came back to us, but that was a long way away. Just as I came back from thinking about everything my mom was, she began to become the women she has been for the past 5 years.

"Give me money now Miracle Rye. I'm not messing around, that lamp broke because you don't know how to do your job and watch after the kids when I'm in my room." She thought she could order me around, but I wasn't going to let that happen. Not ever again would I ever give into my mother.

"Go to hell" I whispered. I let a tear fall down my face as my mom unfolded in front of my own two eyes. She fell to the floor screaming and shouting that she needed the money or she would die. Nothing hurt more than watching your own mom fall apart, it was painful. But, I had to be the bigger person and not give in. She did this all to herself.

"I'm sorry" was all I could say before walking around her and up the steps to give Ayden his medication so he could go to sleep.