If It's What You Want A Harry Styles Fanfiction || h. s.

Chapter 40

Try as she might, Ashley had been unable to fall asleep. Just because they'd come to an understanding did not mean all the negative energy instantaneously dissipated. She managed to untangle herself from Harry, put on her pajamas, and slip out of the room without waking him. Maybe some Sleepy Time tea would do the trick, she thought. While she was waiting for the kettle to boil, she replayed the conversation she and Harry had earlier.

Something had been sitting at the back of her mind attempting to get her attention. It suddenly occurred to her and with that, the tears began all over. No wonder Nadia had been at the party. Now Ashley understood why she'd been on such familiar terms with Harry. She had been the blond Harry was attempting to shield from the cameras the night she'd seen him on the entertainment news. He'd lied to her, told her the blond was engaged to be married.

Oh my god! He's going to do a film with her. They'll be off on location somewhere. No, no, no.

The bigger more immediate hurt was that he had openly lied to her. She somehow finished brewing the tea through a blur of tears. She was sick of crying, sick of feeling that stabbing pain in her chest, and sick of . . .

****

She woke up to someone insistently calling her sweetheart. "Come on. You've fallen asleep on the sofa. Your neck is going to be sore."

Ashley came awake with the sudden memory of what she'd realized. Should she simply tell him to go? What was the use in giving him another chance to explain? Wouldn't he just lie to her again?

"What is it? You've been crying again," he said gesturing to the pile of tissues next to her on the sofa. "Sweetheart, I thought we'd settled everything," he said leaning in to put his arm around her.

"Don't touch me," she said trying to scoot away from him.

"Ashley?"

"Why did you lie to me?"

"About what?"

"Think about it for a moment."

He raised his hands palms up indicating he had no idea what she was referring to.

"Nadia, Excelsior. Ring a bell?" she said throwing off the blanket and getting up off the couch.

"I see."

"You told me she was engaged to be married! You said you hardly knew her!"

"First, although we have been friends for a while, I don't spend time with her. Second, I was told she was engaged to be married before we went to Excelsior that night."

"Let's talk about a lie of omission then. You had every opportunity to tell me she was the one you were with. You had multiple opportunities tonight to clarify your status with her. What am I supposed to think?"

"Look, I had no idea she was someone with whom you had a history. Once you told me, I didn't think it was a good time to talk with you about something else upsetting."

"Really. You are going to do a movie with her. That's why she was at the party. You both are getting to know one another, getting comfortable with one another. I . . ."

"Before you say something hurtful, I'd like to speak," he interrupted.

"Oh, so now you want to discuss her."

"Ashley, you are looking for things to come between us. I told you I wouldn't be seeing her anymore or making any films with her. I gave you my word," he said.

"Why didn't you just tell me the rest?"

"You were already so upset."

"And I'm not upset now?"

"I did what I felt was right for the moment in choosing to wait until you weren't so stressed."

"Or was it more convenient for you to leave that out?" she asked angrily.

"Ashley, maybe I made a mistake. Maybe it wasn't a good call on my part, but I tried to do what I thought was in your best interest. If you choose to doubt my sincerity, I can't change that. I just don't understand why you are so quick to find fault. I care for you. Hell, I might feel something more, but I'm not willing to explore that something with you if you insist on thinking the worst of me at every turn."

"I tried to explain to you that I don't do relationships well," she defended.

"Fine, you know that, I know that. Do something about it!" he said running his hand roughly through his hair.

She took several deep breaths before looking at him. Sitting down next to him, she took his hand in both of hers. "Harry, I don't want to be like this. You are such an amazing person. I think you are one of the best things to happen to me in a really long time."

She put her face in her free hand and began to quietly cry.

"Sweetheart, ssshh. Please don't cry. Just relax. Come here." He took her onto his lap and pulled her close.

It was several minutes before the tears subsided. Ashley turned into Harry even more and snuggled against his body. Her hand touched his shoulder, his chest, and then his hip.

"You are naked," she whispered as if the fact had just occurred to her.

"And you are not, sweetheart," he said as he kissed her mouth. "Should we do something about that?"

"You're not angry about all this?"

"I'm a little upset, but I wouldn't say I'm angry," he said

"Good. I hate the concept of make-up sex."

"Good."

****

Despite what she said about make-up sex, Harry knew she'd put everything into their early-morning experience. She'd meet him kiss-for-kiss, touch-for-touch, and move-for-move. The intensity of emotion was evident in her release. Pink raised streaks were still visible across the back of his shoulders. She held onto him tightly for some time after they'd both climaxed. He could still hear her shallow quick breaths and feel the rapid beat of her heart against his chest. Words that had, just moments before, been urgent turned to soft whispers close to his ear.

His satisfaction was evident in the reflection smiling back at him from the bathroom mirror. He'd left her sleeping to get his shower and take care of a few errands and a quick meeting. He planned to be back with a late breakfast before 11:00.