If It's What You Want A Harry Styles Fanfiction || h. s.

Chapter 64

He'd encouraged her to eat a little something and now they sat holding hands on the balcony drinking another cup of tea. He hated that her hand was trembling from the medication she inhaled to help her breathe easier.

"Okay?"

"I will be."

"Sorry," he said lifting her hand to his lips.

"Thanks. Just a few more days to go," she said smiling.

"Are you interested in making plans for the next several days?" Ashley looked at him as her eyes began to fill with tears. "No, no. Why are you crying?"

"We had plans before I . . ."

"Shh. We are not going to talk about all that. Let's focus ahead. Besides, we can still do most everything we discussed."

"I'm sorry."

"No. There's nothing to be sorry for. Look, we all have processes to work through."

"But I . . ."

"No buts, sweetheart."

"Okay."

****

He kissed her as water from the showerhead cascaded down her back. "This feels so good," he said as his hands caressed her waist, her hips, her back.

"Uh-huh," she said between a kiss.

The tip of her tongue ran across his lower lip causing him to open his mouth. He let her completely take control of the moment. Her kisses were so damn sexy, he thought. She feels amazing. Every inch of her soft skin . . . oh my god. Does she know what she does to me? I want her . . . I just . . .

"Harry, please," she sighed against his mouth.

"What, sweetheart?" he asked pulling far enough away to see her face.

"I . . ." He took her face between his hands and kissed her. When she tried to look down, he kept a finger beneath her chin.

"Tell me what you want." She shook her head. "Whatever it is, I'll do it for you. There's no reason to hold back. Just tell me."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I need a release. I know that sounds selfish, I know . . ."

He stopped her from talking by placing his finger against her mouth. "That's not selfish. I think I can help you," he said. She opened her eyes to see him smiling. "Showers can be the perfect place," he said reaching around behind her and turning off the water. His eyes never left hers as his thumbs began to create circular patterns on her skin. He guided her backward until her back was against the wall. "Just relax, baby." She nodded.

He felt her response immediately. God, how he loved her response. Had she always been this way? Is this just with me? Um, that's a nice thought. What if she's only ever felt this way with me? Oh my god.

He felt weak in the knees. Focus, Harry, said that voice in his head.

"How's that?" he asked into her ear.

"Harry," was all she managed.

Her hands were holding tightly onto his shoulders. "Hey, can you do something for me?" he asked removing her hands from his shoulders. She nodded. Turn around. He pulled her against his chest. "I won't let you fall, okay?" She nodded again. He steadied her with an arm around her waist. The palm of his free hand was flush against her hip. He caressed the side of her leg while kissing her neck and shoulder. His palm moved over her tattoo, her bellybutton, the crease at the top of her leg, and the inside of her upper thigh. He teased her by repeating the trail several times until he felt her lean heavily against him. "How is this?" he asked.