If It's What You Want A Harry Styles Fanfiction || h. s.

Chapter 62

He stopped her words with a kiss before letting her go. "You are basing your attitudes and feelings on a handful of experiences. Look around you, sweetheart. What about your aunt and uncle? Look at others you know who have very successful relationships built on love and respect. I want to have that with you, Ashley." Her look of helplessness caused his heart to contract.

"I'm not sure how to respond to what you've said, Harry. You deserve more than what I might be able to give you."

"I'm willing to take a chance with you, sweetheart. Let me love you until you can love me back."

A knock at the door interrupted the conversation.

"Breakfast," said Ashley. Harry nodded and answered the door for her. Ashley moved her laptop
and several papers from the dining table to make space for the two trays. She signed the ticket and added a tip.

"We should sit down and eat, give you some space to breath. We can continue this conversation afterwards, okay."

"Yes," she said nodding.

He pulled out her chair and sat down opposite her. Each removed the covers from their trays and made a sound of appreciation. They ate in the silence of deep thought, neither willing to speak. He attempted to give her time to think about what he'd said, and she simply didn't know what to say to him yet.

"Excuse me," said Ashley as she pushed back her chair and stood. "I'll be back."

Harry remained silent, afraid of what might come out of his mouth if he attempted to speak. If she turned him away, he wasn't sure what he would do.

Once Ashley closed the bedroom door, she called Kristen who she hoped was still awake.

"Hello," said Kristen sleepily.

"Hi."

Kristen immediately became alert to the softness of Ashley's voice. "Are you okay? Is everything alright?"

"Yes. Can you talk for a couple of minutes?"

"Sure. What's up?

"Is Colin nearby?"

"Yes, here next to me."

"Is he awake?"

"Sort of."

"I don't want him to hear what I have to say."

"Give me a moment." Ashley could her the rustle of the sheet.

"Okay. Spill it?"

"I need your ear. Harry just told me he loved me."

"What the hell?"

"He asked me to start fresh, to give us a chance."

"Ashley!"

"I don't know what to do, what to say, Kristen."

"Honey, listen to me. He is a good person. You can trust him as much as you can possibly trust another person. I can't ultimately tell you what to do, but I do want you to think carefully about this guy. Look at all he's done. I think you'll see he's more than words, right?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now, don't you think it might be worth putting your heart on the line. You guys could be it, Ashley."

"Okay."

"Okay as in okay or just okay to get rid of me."

"I'm going to tell him we can give it a go."

"Aw, honey. This is amazing. I look forward to seeing you both. Good night."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

Ashley took a deep breath and opened the bedroom door. She smiled at Harry who was drinking from the champagne glass. "More courage?" she asked.

"I'm not sure more courage would do me any good since the ball is in your court." He pushed his hand nervously through his hair.

"Harry?"

"Yes."

She walked to the other side of the table where he sat and motioned for him to push the chair back from the table. She straddled his lap and sat down facing him. His hands rested on her waist. "Will you tell me again that you love me?"

"I love you."

"I am pretty sure that I love you too," she said kissing him on the mouth.

"Just like that?" he asked suspiciously.

"No, not just like that. I've had a strong response to you from the beginning."

"I wouldn't say that was always the most positive experience."

"I know. I promise to be much nicer to you from now on. I promise to treat you the way I should." She hugged him tightly in hopes that he would sense how sincerely she meant what she was saying. He stood, holding onto her, and walked over to the sofa. He lay her on her back and stretched out next to her.

"Is this okay?"

"Yes."

"Can we not talk?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Just this," he said kissing her.

She kissed him and let her hands roam freely along his back, his shoulders, his neck, and his chest while whispering again that she loved him. He did the same for her. He urged her to sit up so that he could help her take off her sweater, thrilled to discover that she had on no bra. She pulled at the edges of the t-shirt he was wearing until he sat up to remove his shirt as well.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much."

Ashley loved the feel of his skin and the taut muscles underneath. He shivered as she continued to lightly run her nails across his back.

"What happens now?" he asked.

"We haven't been intimate for days."

"True," he said smiling.

Her expression suddenly became a frown. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't have any condoms," she said disappointedly.

"Nor do I," he said. "No worries. Intimacy is not limited. I can think of any number of things we can do."

He pushed himself off the sofa and took her hand pulling her up. Once they were in the bedroom, he finished undressing her and allowed her to do the same for him. He quickly realized he needed to slow the pace of his caresses and kisses to match hers. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"I'm sorry. My energy is zapped. It's okay. I'm okay," she said kissing him.

"I can't imagine how exhausted you must be. What am I thinking? This is probably not a good idea right now. Why don't I turn out all the lights and let you get some rest," he said stepping away from her.

"Stay with me, please. I've not slept well."

"Of course."

He stepped out long enough to make sure the door was latched and all the lights were off. The food and dishes could wait until morning. All that matters is that she said she loved me as well, he thought.

When he walked back into the bedroom, she was already under the covers. Her eyes were closing before he could turn off the lamp. "Do you want to roll on your side?" he asked.

She rolled over so that she was facing away from him allowing him to snuggle close. He pulled her against his chest, tucked one arm under his head, and let his other arm rest on her waist. After he kissed her shoulder he quickly drifted off to sleep.