If It's What You Want A Harry Styles Fanfiction || h. s.

Chapter 69

Ashley lay awake in the curve of Harry's arm. She moved her hand enough to feel the muscle in his upper chest and shoulder before lightly raking her fingernails from a tattoo near his shoulder to just below the fern near his hip. He startled her when he grabbed her hand.

"You're being a naughty girl," he said sleepily.

"Sorry," she said kissing his jawline.

"Can't sleep?"

"Not really."

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Not really. I was thinking about Colin and Kristen. They are so relaxed and comfortable with one another. They've made plans months ahead with this kind of certainty. I wish that I could approach life like that."

"Like what?" he said caressing her arm.

"You know, with confidence in the future."

"You mean like having a long-term plan?"

"Sort of. I mean, I had goals and plans when I was attending college. I have plans now related to my career. Everything gets messy when another person is involved. That's more of what I'm referring to, I think."

"So basically, you are talking about relationships."

"I guess. You have no control over what another person will do," she said snuggling closer to him.

"I see."

They remained quiet for several minutes.

"I'm not sure I will ever be able to have that kind of faith in another person."

"So you would have your entire life guided by the failure of a relationship you endured as a child."

"I'm marked by that, Harry. The one person I should have been able to believe in used and manipulated me. That kind of relationship colors every future relationship."

"Ashley, you have to decide you want something different. I suppose the question is whether you want something different, whether you are willing to give another person a fair shake?"

"I do, Harry."

"Then you are going to have to give me some credit for being a better person than those in your past. Not only that, but you need to realize your worth, sweetheart. You bring so much to the table. Remember, you have a great deal to offer."

"Thank you, Harry."

"It's the truth."

"I think I'll get up for a while. I have so much on my mind."

"I could distract you again," he said nuzzling at her neck.

"Maybe later," she said throwing back the covers.

"Want some company?"

"You should sleep."

"I won't be able to sleep knowing you're in the other room."

"Could we go for a walk?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea. I would imagine the street is pretty deserted."

"Is there somewhere we could go?"

"I know this place not far from here. There's some outdoor seating. Do you have a heavy jacket? It'll be pretty chilly at this time."

"Yes, I have plenty of warm clothes."

"Let's get dressed."

****

"Well, well. Look who we have here," purred the female voice.

Ashley would have known the voice anywhere. "Hello Nadia."