30 Days In Rehab

Day 2: Tuesday

I roll over in my bed and come face to face with Daniel. His dreads are sprawled all over his face, his lips parted slightly, his cheeks tinted pink as he sleeps.

I open my eyes, squinting as the sun streams in the window across from me. Still in rehab, still don't want to be here, still don't belong here. I sit up slowly, starring into the sunlight.

"I know I'm sexy, but it's rude to stare." Daniels husky voice interrupts my laughing. He opens an eye and looks at me, "go back to sleep." He demands.

I slide off of my bed, walking to the bathroom that's connected to my room. I turn on the shower to the second hottest setting and strip.

"Make me." I say childishly. Daniel smirks before slinging an arm towards me. I scream and try to roll off the bed but he catches me. He pulls me towards him and tosses his entire body on me, his face in my neck. I laugh as I try to push him off me. "Come on, Daniel!" I shout after a moment of being crushed by him.

I step into the shower, the water burning me instantly on impact. The water hurts for a second before it becomes soothing. I wash up and rinse off before I sit on the shower floor, the water pouring down directly under my head.

A feeling of disgust creeps on me, causing goose bumps to rise on my skin. I brush my arms, my bra falling into my lap. I brush my arms and legs furiously, Thinking it would take the feeling away but it doesn't.

I scramble to the shower, turning it on, not even touching the cool knob. I quickly strip and get under the water, letting it soak my hair. A sting occurs when I run my tongue over my cheek.

I sink to the floor, ignoring the hurried knocks on my door and people calling my name. I touch my face and feel my mask. With a cry, I rip it off and throw it away from me. I bring my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around myself. I hang my head as I try to calm my racing heart.

I stare at the shower wall, clearing my mind all together. Thinking about back then does more harm than good, it's no point in reminiscing. Especially about Daniel. There's no point in thinking about him when he didn't think about me when he was about to kill himself.

But he did think about you, that's why he killed himself.

That thought makes me shiver under the hot water. I stand, turning the shower off and stepping out. I wrap a towel around me and step to my sink, my mirror foggy. "No more thinking, no more." I mutter to myself.

"The man that going to stay by your side and give you what you want and need before you can ever ask for it. The man that's going to be what you need until you won't need him anymore."

Did he think that I didn't need him? Was that his final thought?

I shake my head, trying to shake away those thoughts. "No more thinking, no more thinking." I say again.

"Daniel can we talk?" I ask.

"Not really, you're dress appointment is in an hour." He answers bitterly. I bite my lip, "I know but I just want to--"

"To what? Apologize for pushing me away and then leaving me on the floor afterwards? Or do you want to apologize for not being attracted to me?" He snaps, turning to face me.

I tilt my head, "what--"

"I mean, all the niggas you see at the strip club while you being a how, compared to them, I must be ugly!" He shouts.

I made him insecure... Did I make him insecure?

I begin wiping the fog off the mirror, stopping when I see my reflection. My hair is dripping wet on my shoulders, my eyes red, my cheeks rosy, and my nose is running. I look a mess.