30 Days In Rehab

Day 17: Wednesday

"So how does it feel?" A voice scares me, making me look at my doorway. Darren is standing there with his arms crossed, disappointment on his face. I furrow my eyebrows in annoyance, "what?" "How does it feel?"

"How does what feel?"

"How does it feel to literally have no one?"

"Man, fuck you. Get the fuck out my face."

"Tee came to see me before she left. She was upset, crying. She said that you tried to break Daniel's urn and then tried to put her down because she was pregnant." Disappointment is not only on his face but in his tone too. I shrug, "so what?" He scoffs, "So what?! Stephanie, not too long ago you were asking me for help on fixing your friendship and now you're ruining it!"

"Hey! She walked away from me, not the other way around!"

"Think about how you treated her! I'm not surprised that she walked away, I would've walked away too! She doesn't deserve to be talked to like that, especially by you!" He shakes his head, his hands slapping his thighs, "I mean, you hurt her feelings and she still stopped by my office to tell me to talk to you! And the way you talked about Daniel?! Absolutely unacceptable! Suddenly you hate him?! That's a lie! Because if you really hated that man then you wouldn't have cried the way that you did when they told you that he was dead!" I toss my head back and laugh, "wow! Well don't you think you know it all?!"

"No Stephanie, I don't think that I know it all! But I know 2 things: you've been my patient for half a month, I basically know you, so that's one thing I know. And the second thing is that your time here is supposed to be up in 13 days and if you don't get yo' shit together then you will be here for another 30 days! And then another! And then another!" He rolls his eyes at me and turns to walk away. "So, what? You walking away from me too?! Go ahead, walk nigga, let the door hit you on ya' way out because I need y'all to realize that I don't need anybody but me! Don't nobody have my back but me! I don't need you, Dawson, or that pregnant bitch, you know why?! Because I got me!" My door slams open and Tee is standing there, tears on her face. "You know what? You're a bitch." I feel my heart skip a beat as my jaw drops.

She walks closer to me, wiping her eyes, "nigga's give up everything for you and you got the nerve to say that nobody got your back? Daniel allowed himself to be killed because he saw how much he hurt you. Andrew, the father of my child, that man that I now realize I love, the man that I've been talking to every day, seeing every day, for these last couple of months?! He murdered those men that killed Daniel who didn't fight back because of you! My child won't see his father, hold his father's hand, for possibly 10 years or more, because of you!" Her voice slowly raises into a scream as her tears continue to fall. "I won't be able to kiss, lay besides, or simply touch Andrew for multiple years because of you! But did I ever get angry at you because of that?! No! I come here and stay all damn day to make sure you're okay and then I go back to Andrew's house, grab a pillow, and I cry! I cry because my best friend treats me like shit, Andrew is gone, I'm pregnant, and I'm alone! And now I'm angry! Because you're saying nobody got your back when everybody had your back! And you're ungrateful! I wish that I had a friend like me in my damn life! But all I got is you and at this point, I don't even got you! I'm done with you Stephanie! Now your words are true, now nobody has your back." She turns and walks out the room, slamming the door shut behind her. Darren sighs, walking towards the door. He grabs the handle and looks over his shoulder, "you might as well get comfortable, you're going to be here for a while."

---

"So." The voice startles as I sit up quickly. Daniel leans against the wall, his head tilted at me. "You just lost ya' only friend."

"You're not real. You're not really here." I sneer before laying back down and closing my eyes. "But I am real, and I am here," he whispers in my ear. "I'm here because you want me at the moment, so here I am."

"You're wrong, I don't want you anymore."

"You're lying."

"You're dead."

"But not in ya heart."

"Especially in my heart."

"Then why am I still here?"

"Because your like AIDS, can't get rid of you." I snap. He chuckles lowly and my heart feels like someone is squeezing it, "because you don't want to get rid of me. I'm not AIDS, I'm more of an itch or burn that you can get rid of with a single shot or some antibiotics." I turn and look at his translucent figure as he stands beside me, "2 pills that contain the truth a day and I'll be gone in no time."

"Fuck off Daniel, ole bitch ass."

"You took your anger out on Tee when you really should have taken it out on me." "Daniel fuck off." "I mean, I am the reason you lost our child."

"Daniel. I'm warning you."

"But then again, you were the reason that I allowed myself to be killed, so isn't it really your fault?" My hand shoots out and grabs my lamp from the night stand beside me and I launch it at where he's standing, my anger bubbling as it passes through him and smashes into the wall. He crosses his arms and looks behind him at the wall, "you're going to get in trouble for that." He says.

"Leave me alone!" I scream as I get off my bed. "Why Humpty Dumpty, am I tugging at one of your weak ass strings?" He asks with a laugh.

Humpty Dumpty... My strings are not weak.

"My strings are not weak!" I shout, grabbing my nightstand and trying to pick it up to throw it at him. The nightstand slips from my hands and slams onto my foot, a crunch resonating through my body. I scream as tears spring to my eyes. "Ole broken ass," he teases, "mistreat the ones that are trying to help you because you can't mistreat the one that hurt you." He tsks as I lean against my bed, holding onto my foot. "You do realize that is what you do right? When someone wrongs you, you hold onto it and allow it to make you mistreat others. Me for example. You used to let what Christopher did to you dictate what you could do with me."

"Shut up! Don't you dare fucking bring that up!" I scream. I hear a series of knocks at my door and someone saying my name. "And now you're letting your, practically, untouched grief destroy everything around you. Your lashing out." "You don't know nothing about what you're talking about!"

"I'm in your head. I'm saying what you know is the truth. I'm saying what you don't want to hear, Humpty." And with that he vanishes. My door bursts open and in rushes nurses and a doctor, looking around the room frantically. "Who were you talking to?!" Asks one. "Look at her foot! Someone get a wheel chair!" Exclaims another. Suddenly people are running around me, pushing me into wheel chairs, asking me questions. Things begin to spiral out of control.

I'm being wheeled towards the rehabs exit, flashing lights telling me that an ambulance is outside. The ambulance pulls up to the entrance and stops, paramedics jumping out and rushing towards me. The arrive in front of me and I catch a glimpse of Daniel leaning against the ambulance, smirking at me. He ever so slowly mouths the words, "Humpty Dumpty."