30 Days In Rehab

Day 5: Friday

THE BOOK HAS HIT 1K READS IN 5 WEEKS! Is this what real support feels like because without the support of you guys this wouldn't have been possible! I absolutely adore you guys! And in honor of this book hitting this milestone, there is no goal for this chapter meaning that an update is GUARANTEED for next Friday! I love you guys so, so much!

-Shamya

---

Why did I come down here? I swear, if it weren't for the promise of weed, I wouldn't be here.

This is the corniest thing that I've ever seen. Have you ever been to a summer camp with overly happy camp counselors? The kind of counselors that smile at everything? Like you can literally tell them that you shitted on their shoes, they would grin, and say, 'I always loved the color brown!' This is what this feels like. I've been here for an hour and I'm far past over this. So far, we've passed a ball around and said our names, favorite colors, and our favorite foods. We might as well start making beaded necklaces with each other's names on them.

The nurse designated to this activity (I really have to start learning names) walks over, tossing a football between her hands. "Okay, so we're going to pass the ball around! When you get the ball tell the group what you do for a living and then pass it to the person to the left of you." She announces before introducing herself. She passes the ball and I begin zoning out.

My appointment with Darren is in a few hours, after my visit. I wonder what we'll talk about today. Despite my earlier thoughts, talking to Darren has helped me a lot more than I thought. It feels good to get things off my chest. Speaking with him made me realize that I never really had a person that I could spill my heart to that could give me constructive responses back. I mean, yeah, I have Tee but the most she can do is say that she "understands" and that "things will get better". How can you possibly understand the shit that I've been through? How can you possibly know that things will get better?