Forlorner: Fill The Space #Wattys2019

Prologue

Prologue

Pride of the Family

"Ma, Pa? What is happening? Anong nangyayari sa inyo?"

I just got home from my work when I entered our house and immediately heard noises and shouts at my parents' room. Akala ko ay napasok kami ng mga bad guys but here they are, fighting again.

My mother looked at me, sadness took over her eyes. "Anak, you're here na. Nagugutom ka ba? Hahainan kita, halika." Hinawakan niya ako sa siko at hinila palabas ng kanilang kuwarto.

I took a glance to my father. He's looking at my mama very worriedly. I felt confused. Tungkol saan ba ang pinag-uusapan nila? Hindi naman sila mukhang nag-aaway tungkol sa babae o lalake. They actually look sad.

"Denaira," mahinang pagtawag ni papa kay mama. Nagbaba ako ng tingin kay mama para makita ang kaniyang reaksyon. She's looking down and she is about to cry!

"Labyrinth, pakainin muna natin ang anak mo. We will talk later. We'll settle this tonight, Labyrinth."

I heard my father sighed and exhaustedly dropped himself on their bed. My mama already tugged me downstairs.

Tahimik lamang si mama habang hila-hila ako pababa ng hagdan. Pinapakiramdaman ko lamang siya kung iiyak na ba siya but her face still seem so radiant. Parang walang nangyayari kanina.

Parang bata niya akong inupo sa dining habang hinahainan niya ako. I feel like a child. I am an only child and daughter kaya naman alagang-alaga ako nila. I was and still am pampered even now that I'm twenty-three years old.

"Eat, anak." Nakangiting sambit sa akin ni mama at umupo sa harap ko. She crossed her arms on the table and look at me as I ate.

I faked a cough. "Uhm, have you two eaten?" I asked.

Mahinhin lamang siyang tumango. She's creepy, the way she smoothen my hair and stare at me while eating.

Mabait na tao ang mama ko. Of course, every child would say. But my mother is the most fearless of them all. Every time she and my father will fight, she does not shed tears. I never saw tears streaming down her face.

For me, it was the bravest thing I can thought of-- not crying makes you stronger.

Ano nga ba naman ang magagawa ng pag-iyak? Would it lessen your pain, your burden, your sorrow and grief? No! Will it hinder you from being your better self? Yes!

"Labyrinth, sinabi ko na sa iyo, mamaya na tayo mag-usap." Mahinahon na pananalita ni mama.

Naramdaman ko ang Papa sa aking likod kaya naman lumingon ako habang ngumunguya pa rin.

"Denaira, your daughter must be aware of us now. We aren't going steady anymore. Alam mo kung gaano kahirap ang mabuhay na hindi kumpleto ang pamilya." My father tried bargaining.

Gusto kong masuka sa mga pagmamakaawa niya.

They thought I wouldn't know—that I didn't know. I might be always out of the house because of my profession, pero hindi sarado ang utak ko sa nangyayari sa pamilya namin.

My father cheated. He had an affair with his best friend for years already. Pinili ko ang magbulagan at magkunwari na maayos lang ang lahat sa aming tatlo, kahit tuwing gabi na uuwi ako ay maririnig ko silang nag-uusap ni mama. Nagmamakaawa siya na huwag siyang iwan ng mama.

Damn this.

Humarap ako sa aking pagkain at pumikit. Kinalma ko ang aking sarili at hinawakan ng mahigpit ang kutsara't tinidor. Nanginginig man ang mga kamay ko ay pinagpatuloy ko ang pagkain. Nanlalabo ang aking mata dahil sa pagpipigil sa mga luha na lumabas.